Mostly Fingerprints Part 8

I have SO enjoyed looking back over my letters to God and the scriptures that He has led me to over the past few years. It is so apparent on some days that I was extremely frustrated simply by my writing and the large question marks I drew across my pages! Definitely not a time I want to revisit, however I am thankful for all of it because of what I have learned! Even though I am thankful, there were certainly days I was plenty angry with our situation. The good 'ole Jonah attitude took over, and I was questioning why we were struggling so harshly while others who could care less about God, much less their testimony for him, were seemingly without a care and certainly not struggling to pay their bills and keep their family fed! My friend, Angie, and I had spent many hours contemplating this one!!

One day in particular God led me to Malachi 3:14-15. I seriously felt as if I were a child complaining aloud in my room with my door shut, and my dad swings open the door and repeats to me what I'd said only to let me know He can hear my every word. You see, the scripture says "You have said: It is useless to serve God. What have we gained by keeping His requirements and walking mournfully before the LORD of Hosts. So now we consider the arrogant to be fortunate. Not only do those who commit wickedness prosper, the even test God and escape.' " A couple of days later, which seems like an eternity when you are waiting on God, He led me to the follow up scripture, Malachi 3:16.."At that time those who feared the LORD spoke to one another. The LORD took notice and listened. So a book of remembrance was written before Him for those who feared Yahweh and had high regard for His name." Wow...again...my God who wakes the sun up each morning and puts it to bed each night, my God who spoke the earth into existence, my God who gave up perfection in Heaven and came to earth to suffer brutality and death on a cross, my God who conquered the grave and rose to live again...MY God was speaking to me once again. I cannot explain to you how incredible this makes me feel!!

(I want to share with you that at this very moment I can hear, "this is not going to make sense. You might as well leave it out." For a second I stopped, but then realized Satan is trying to sabotage my efforts of sharing how Christ works in my life. Interesting that there is spiritual warfare going on as I type!)

As incredible as I felt when He spoke to me, it is amazing how I needed that constant reassurance. I could not see with my eyes, there was no groundbreaking change even though God had repeatedly assured me through the scriptures and through prayer that change was coming. I'm sure I sounded like a broken record to Him on most days. When God? How God? What is taking you so long God? I can only imagine how I frustrated Him so!

Summer of 2008 came and went, very slowly it seemed. It was time for school to start and we needed to buy school supplies, clothes, shoes. Only, there was nothing extra to buy these things with. Why is it when you are struggling financially everything seems SO difficult? Could it possibly be that too much faith and hope is put in money instead of in God? Hmmmm...

A little side note, during my intense seeking of God He continually gave me scriptures with reference to the state of our nation. I didn't understand and talked to Shawn about them for his input. For example, Amos 6:3-6 "You are cruel and you forget the coming day of judgment...You drink all the wine you want and wear expensive perfume, but you don't care about the ruin of your nation." I was getting this type of scripture about as often as ones that I understood. It wouldn't be long before I totally understood what God was saying. Banks began closing, the failing condition of our economy was spread all over the news, and foreclosures were on the rise. Wow...how, in the midst of so much hardship and economic failure would our situation change? I know God must have been smiling at this thought!!