Mostly Fingerprints Part 9

As I sit on my bed with journals spread across the comforter, my bible in hand and laptop at the ready...I'm not sure if I shared this is my previous blog, but it is very important and I need to mention it. On June 5th, 2008 God led me to Acts 7:11-15. Through this scripture He spoke to me that there would be a move or a change that would end our financial hardships. Remember...I only see with human eyes, and so I am thinking a physical move and possibly out of town. I resolved to the fact that if that is where He was leading it had to be better than what was going on!

Throughout the Fall of 2008 God continued to leave mostly fingerprints. Some of them we couldn't see until when we looked back on the situation. But one thing was evident to me every single day...God had not shown up in the mighty way that I had been praying for! Another truth became evident during this time...the family business that Shawn had helped to build with his dad for almost 2 decades was coming to an end. I'm sure you can just hear my thoughts..."Ummm...God. Things are getting worse, and not better. How could you let this happen? Is this our lot in life, because I am SO miserable I can't possibly be doing any good for your kingdom! Where are you God?????" These were things God heard quite often from me, and looking back I must have reminded him of the Israelites! Regardless of the food falling from the sky for them, the sea opening up so that they could flee from the army, and countless other miracles they actually saw with their own eyes...not to mention the cloud they followed by day and the fire by night...they still wanted more from God. Humanness at it's all time stinkiest, and I was acting just like them. Satan continued to try and wreck my thoughts, and I'll have to admit that on some days he was successful.

On November 6th, 2008...when we knew that bankruptcy for the business was eminent, I sat down to pray. I reminded God of all of the scriptures he'd led me to with regards to rescue and harvest...and most of all the recurring way He spoke deep into my spirit that He didn't want us to sell the house because it was the enemy that devoured. I knew if He was telling us to keep the house He would provide. But where was the provision? My human eyes looked and saw financial struggle and Shawn losing his job on top of that! God led me to Numbers 11:23, "Has my arm lost its power? Now you will see whether or not my word comes true!" Wow. Again, He spoke directly to me. I knew my hope was in God, and even though I had momentary lapses when satan used my mind as a playground...I fully trusted God. (AND He had just reminded me to do so!) I was scared about His plan, but I knew He knows what is best for our life. Somewhere during this time I attended a Beth Moore live simulcast at our church. God used her to keep me focused and to refresh my focus. It was so simple, and yet SO huge! Beth shared that when God gives you a word and you know that He has spoken...it will be tested. Hang onto it, believe, and don't let satan still your hope. God had spoken, and we were still in the testing because we weren't ready just yet.

Christmas was upon us, and we somehow managed to buy gifts for the kids. I will tell you though, that the holiday doesn't stand out in my mind as a super difficult time. We had unexpected money come to us from God and so we made it. I had also learned by this time to try and make the best of what God had given to us. Instead of everyday being a complete fight with God about what He had NOT done yet, I realized that was part of this lesson. I needed to find JOY in Him and not what He has or hasn't given me.