Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Body by God

So this morning, God spoke once again...but I'm not sure I like what He said. You see, if there is something I don't like about myself I have the ultimate determination to change it. From physical flaws to character quirks...I am Johnny on the Spot with correction!
About six weeks after Hollis was born, I began to battle joint pain. There were some days it hurt to just hold my newborn son. The pain isn't just in my hands, but throughout the joints in my entire body. I never know when I wake up where it will hurt. This has been very hard for me to accept because it is something I can't change. Before you ask, I have tried different joint treatments. The pain has kept me from going to the gym, which is beyond irritating to me...but again, something I can't control. So, being the determinated woman I am, I just have pushed through it and for the most part can ignore any of the pain while I am working out. I am not about to let this silliness get me down!
About 3 weeks ago, I began having almost severe pain in my left foot without an obvious cause. Not in the joint, but on the bottom center of my foot. When the pain wasn't sharp, it was aching. After 4 days I decided it needed to be checked out, and so off to the chiropractor I go. He did some evalutaions with an instrument and an x-ray or two and determined there is swelling in the bone. Bsaically a pre-fracture. wasn't a fracture, because immediately in my mind I'm thinking 6 weeks of NO GYM. Some swelling...that'll go away fast. After the first week of 3 treatments with the laser to reduce swelling, it became obvious this wasn't going to be a quick fix. The second week past, and my frustrations grew because the pain was still lingering.
Now...more than 3 weeks into this silliness, here I am. Sitting on my bed typing this blog when I should be getting ready to go to the gym for Turbo Kick...which I love. It is a total body workout, which I need with Summer coming on at full speed and not having gone to the gym in so long.
ENTER THE VOICE OF GOD. I was driving home this morning after dropping the kids off and thinking of what I could go to the gym and do for cardio that wouldn't hurt my foot. My mind began taking me down the road of "if I'm going to be ready for summer and comfortable in the heat bearing attire I'll have to wear, I have GOT to get to the gym. I can control this if I can just get to the gym". God clearly interjected a, "let ME do this". I have heard this before with our finances, and He DID do it. We have never been in a better position financially, but my body? How is God going to tone my body as if I'd gone to the gym everyday for weeks? Or is he just going to change my heart so that I accept flab? I'll choose to believe the tone! I have had the thought that the bone swelling was yet another lesson on my way home. And here it is. My whole issue with my body image that I've had for as long as I can remember...God is choosing now to press the issue. In my late 30's when things don't tighten and tone as quick as I'd like, or stay that way for very long without maintenance! When summer is knocking at the door, which means bathing suits, shorts, tank tops...grrrrrr. Why now, Lord...why now?
And so here I sit, admittedly still trying to figure out the cardio dilema...but knowing that God is working on me. Refer back to the second sentence in this blog...God knows that determination, He is the one that gave it to me. He is just trying to channel it right now. I am also obedient, determined....but obedient. And so without hesitation, I know this lesson will be taught as well as accepted. I'm just in the beginning stages of digesting it all, and I'm sure irritating God in the process!

Monday, May 17, 2010

Parent Through Me

This morning, God spoke to me in the most simple, and humorous, way. I've had this thought before, but this morning I felt it settle into my spirit.

At a little after 5:00 am, I crawled out of bed and made my way to Leagan's room. I kneeled by her bed, placed my hand upon her...and as she lay so still I prayed for Leagan in a special way. God knows Leagan better than anyone...He created her. As a parent, sometimes our children's personalties are frustrating at the same time they are admired. There are many characteristics, especially within Leagan, that I'm not quite sure how to parent...but God does. So, I claimed Luke 11: 9-10, asking and knowing that I would recieve. Maybe not the why, but the how...and I'm o.k. with that. You see, I want her to be the very best she can be according to God's will. She was created for a purpose, and I would never want to stand in the way of that perfection. She is my oldest, and so in many ways she is the guinea pig. However, trusting God to lead my every step with her gives me peace. As I just thought about the whole guinea pig analogy I realized that isn't really true. Why not? Because her sister is nothing like her...

The time had now come to quietly make my way to Addie Claire's room. Since it was so early in the morning, it was still very dark and the only light I had was the bit that managed to survive from the window over the front door, but even that light dimmed less than half way down the hall. I opened her door and started towards her bed. What light I had was gone, and within the first few steps I took came my first stumble. There is something that you should know about my 2nd child. She is VERY free-spirited, is unaffected by clutter, and would love nothing more than to dance, sing, and do cartwheels all day. As I stepped on one of many things that littered her bedroom floor, I smiled. This is the moment that the Lord spoke so deeply into my spirit. Whatever I tripped on is part of Addie Claire. It is a part of her characteristics...a part of her very being. She doesn't get bogged down and fret over the small things. It is one of those frustrating yet admired characteristics that she has, and since she was created by God...there is a purpose for those very traits. While I would love to have her room clean, I realized in a way I never had before that this is Addie Claire. I smiled as I began to pray. She must have turned over at least 3 or 4 times, which is also so typical of her. She is never still, even as she sleeps. I prayed, just as I did with Leagan, that God would help me to parent Addie Claire in a way that would help to accomplish His will for her. Just as Leagan was created for a purpose, so was Addie Claire.

Although they are both from the same family line, the girls are VERY different. What works for one, frustrates the other. Leagan prefers stucture and rules, Addie Claire would rather there be music and free play all day! I do not know on most days how to be a parent to the two of them, but I am so thankful that my God does. He knows exactly what they respond to, how to correct them without defeating them, and how to encourage the very spirits He created. I am perfectly imperfect, and for me to try and do this on my own would be foolish. 1 Corinthians 1:30 reminds me that my wisdom comes from Christ, and that is why I call on Him daily. While I feel on most days that I fail miserably, God's word also tells me that I am renewed each day. So, this is a new day for me to rely on God to love through me and parent through me. I am so excited to see what God has in store for Leagan and Addie Claire, and to see how their personalities are used by Him for His kingdom.

Now...Hollis is a completely new blog post!

Saturday, May 1, 2010

I'm Sorry, How much??

So, we are a few weeks into Addie Claire's gluten free diet and while I'm still learning...I do feel a lot more confident. I spoke with a friend last week, who has a daughter with celiac disease, and she was a mountain of help for me! (Thanks Keri!!) My knowing her was not by chance, but another piece of God's divine plan!!
One thing I've learned oh so quickly is that in order to plan meals, pack lunches, and provide snacks for Addie Claire that do not upset her tummy...our budget must change! I bought a box of 6 corndogs and a small container of ice cream made from coconut milk for $15 and some change! A package of "oreos" that are gluten free, which is less than half of the size of a regular package of Oreos...$6.00!
Here is where God enters this picture. You see a year ago, had we known that Addie Claire needed to be as gluten/dairy free as possible we would not have been able to afford to feed her correctly! What a difference a year makes, and what a difference GOD makes! Because He led Shawn to his current employment as Owner and Founder of Rockwater (which I might add the name was chosen based on Moses's faith in God...strike the rock, water will come) we are totally able to pay the jump in grocery costs. I seriously want to shout from the mountain top how incredible God...the one true I wish all of my friends and family could know Him as I do!
So, although our trips to the grocery store includes a much higher cost, God has once again provided for our family. Not only has He given us the means to provide the food she needs, but he has also placed key people in my life to help me learn more about living a gluten-free lifestyle.
When I think about how so many things have fallen into place, I am speechless yet again at His mercy and grace upon our lives!