Sunday, September 19, 2010

Uncomfortable

I heard something a few days ago that God keeps bringing back to my attention, and so I thought I would share! I listen to Christian radio, mainly KLOVE or Air1, and I am not sure which station I was listening to at the time but there was a gentleman talking about being comfortable in our lives. As I caught just a bit of what he was saying, I began to think about my life. I know the place that I am most comfortable is in my "home", more than likely laying in my bed! As a Christian, we should not ever be totally comfortable on this earth because it is not our home. It is a temporary dwelling place where our souls inhabit flesh for a short amount of time. There are some days that I long to be at the feet of Jesus where all things will be clear and wisdom will be at it's best. Days that are plagued with discipline issues with the kids, misunderstandings in my marriage,listening to the less than desirable decisions that are being made in Washington, hearing on the news that Lubbock is number one in the nation with regards to STD's, seeing all of the opportunities that our kids have to get their hands on pornographic materials...even the magazines staring you down as you attempt to check-out at the grocery store. Covers that speak lies into the minds of our children telling them they need to look a certain way, dress a certain way, and showing them that sex sells on many levels. All of these things make me uncomfortable...and they should. I am not at home.

Monday, September 6, 2010

Jesus Bring the Rain


For the past couple of days, there has been a sadness in my heart...in my memories. I remember the sounds, the smells...the hurt...as if it were yesterday. However, as sad as this day was 3 years ago it was also a time in which I look back upon with a tremendous realization.

In July of 2007 when my sister Sherri had her stroke, she was left unable to talk and paralyzed in half of her body. It was a massive stroke that affected both sides of her brain and ended her life as she knew it. As I sat in the hospital and watched MANY people come and go, I listened to what they said to Sherri...to us. With great pride I listened to how my sister had helped them through a trial in their own life, or how she served at her church...how she touched others. This seemed to be the common thread in all of the conversations of those who came to visit her. The Lord allowed her to live almost 2 months in the hospital in this condition before He took her home, so there was plenty of time to visit with friends and family who came to see Sherri.

The song playing on my blog...Jesus bring the rain...listen to the words carefully. It played over and over in my sister's room and seemed as if it were written for her. Even in the hospital, without a voice, she was able to share her testimony. Her written story of God's work was being passed around the hospital among the nurses and visitors. Because of the rain in her own life, many were able to hear of God's work in her life.

After her death, I reflected upon everything that had happened and I realized that when I leave this world I want to be remembered for how I lived for my God. It was also then that I realized what the world held as important as far as success, beauty, and riches would no longer hold me captive. The worldly mother and wife...or even what someone in particular believed that I should be or do...no longer had a say. My God would have the say. I knew if I was focused on Him and His ways, I would not only be pleasing Him but all other areas of my life would fall into place. My greatest desire is to be remembered by my commitment to God, my service to Him, and the way He loved through me. To hear Him say, "well done" will be the greatest reward EVER!

So, as I remember my sister on this day with sadness...I also give God the glory. He used the rain in my life to wash off my heart, give me a renewed spirit, and settle my eyes upon Him. Though the rain may not be welcomed at the time, God always redeems it for those who seek Him. I am because of Him. I have because of Him. I live because of Him. And, because of Him, there will be a great reunion one day with Sherri! I can't even imagine!!!

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Mostly Fingerprints Part...aw, who's counting!!!

The Summer and Fall of 2009 pressed on, and Shawn went from one lead to another as far as financing for the machine. I'll never forget being able to take the girls to Six Flags for a vacation, and Shawn getting a call while we were at the park regarding the CNC and the fact that they would be having to come pick it up soon. We trusted God, shook off the "shakenness" and continued our vacation. It was a wonderful time with the girls, and a total gift from God!

The end of the year rolled around, and financially we were doing so well but the question of the CNC was still an unwelcomed guest in our minds. Shawn continued to try and make connections, and just the sheer fact that the machine was still sitting in Shawn's shop was a miracle of God. Since they wouldn't take Shawn's payments on the machine and would not finance him, logically the machine should have been repossessed many months before. We held on to this. We didn't know what was going to happen, but we knew God had sustained us for this long...beyond what was believable by the human brain...and we trusted He would continue until His plan played out.

In January, Shawn and I spent our anniversary in Ruidoso, NM and had a wonderful time. However, we were both interested in a phone call Shawn was waiting for to see if yet another prospect would co-sign for the machine. During the trip, we found out that Shawn officially had a co-signer, but it was like pulling teeth to get the information from the man. So weeks drug on, and Shawn had gotten a call stating they just could not wait any longer and someone would be coming to pick up the CNC soon. Finally, what seems like forever later...all of the paperwork was in and Shawn simply had to go to the bank and sign the papers. Shawn signed what was needed, left the bank and then realized that there was no co-signer. He called me to share the shocking news, and then called the bank. He was told the co-signers credit actually hurt his chances of getting the loan so they just gave it to him under his name alone! WHAT??? Are you kidding me??? Obviously, God was once again written all over this! Not in a fingerprint, but in a celestial size FOOTPRINT!! Thank you sweet Jesus for being so faithful, so wise, and so loving!! We were simply in awe!!

So, here we are today. It has taken me so long to post the final episode because we spent 5 days on vacation in California, and now we are all sick!! We had such an awesome time, we only lost Hollis once, and the laptop that Hollis spilled Dr. Pepper all over was easily replaced! However, we are still trying to get all of my pictures from forever off of the hard drive!

I have no idea what God has in store for our lives, but I know this. He has proved himself faithful, even though the journey was long and hard. If you are reading this and are in the middle of your storm, hold on. He will not let you down, and if satan is telling you otherwise, remind him that the bible says in Christ, we walk on the head of the enemy.

Speaking of "in Christ", if you cannot recall a moment when you knew that you knew that you knew you were saved by Christ I encourage you to take care of that. It isn't something that happens gradually, but a single moment. If you can't put your finger on a single moment that you chose Christ, then all you have to do is simply pray. ' Dear God, I admit that I have sinned, and I ask you to forgive me of my sins. I believe that Jesus died on the cross so that I could have forgiveness of my sins, and that He then beat death by rising again 3 days later. I believe that you are the one and only God and I am asking you to make me your child and to help me to live a life that is pleasing to you. Thank you God. Amen.' If you just prayed this prayer, I have already prayed for you and your first steps as a child of God!

Now that the novel is finished, I will begin blogging more about daily life and try to post some pics soon!!

Friday, July 16, 2010

Mostly Fingerprints Part 11

As we waited for God to show up in a mighty way, each day passed as a gift. A gift in the form of a paycheck, some crazy type of stability...survival. Shawn helpt those working for him to find different jobs, and continued to seek God to find His will for Shawn. The company had purchased a CNC machine to help fabricate the granite for their jobs. This is a very expensive machine...more than $200,000! Because of the business bankruptcy, Shawn was facing losing the very machine that sustained his business (beyond God). We didn't have this type of money to buy the machine, and Shawn searched daily for someone to loan the money or finance him so that he could buy the machine. Nothing. The time came for the family business to shut down, and so Shawn continued business out of his shop that he leased from another company. Reluctant at first to take on business because of the fear that the bank would repossess the CNC machine, we continued to pray for guidance. Shawn developed a business relationship with one steady customer that has been a HUGE blessing until this very day. Slowly we gained confidence that if the bank had not come to get the machine (that was in default) by now then Shawn would just continue where God was keeping him.

I must interject here that Shawn had made several payments on the machine only to find out they had held the payments due to the pending bankruptcy. (During the entire process he was very honest and forthcoming with all of those he dealt with. Shawn's name wasn't on the bankruptcy since he didn't actually own any part of the business, nor was his name on the leases for equipment either.)

Shawn and I had resolved that whatever he did, it would not be to own the world. We had struggled for so long to simply cover the bills that in the future, we simply wanted to have a healthy income that covered the necessities and if God blessed us with more than we needed then so be it! God had led us through a time that totally changed our mindset of what we needed and wanted. We started out our married life wanting to conquer the world as far as money and tangible things, and I have no doubt that God did a great job pruning us! :-) The lesson had been learned!!

Back to the story... Day by day the weeks passed. What seemed to be the scariest thing as far as careers go was shaping up to be one of the best things that ever happened to us. We were still on borrowed time as far as the machine, but we were able to pay bills on time without juggling!! Beyond finances, because I don't want you to think that is my complete focus, Shawn and I were more on the same page than we had been in a long time. The fingerprints that God had left over the past few years were oh so visible and I could see SO many times God had showed up in the day to day.

Shawn went ahead and named his company Rock Water based on Moses trusting God when he struck the rock as God had instructed that the clean water would flow for the Israelite people. Shawn was totally trusting God with his business and felt this was the perfect name. We both felt like this was where Shawn was supposed to be, if even temporarily.

Summer arrived, and since we had turned my Mercedes in at the end of the lease I had been driving I had been borrowing a pickup truck from Shawn's brother. A ford work truck with an extended cab was my new ride...and I couldn't have been happier. I was so ready to get rid of my car because of the tumultuous time that swirled around the last couple years of having it. By mid summer, we had enough cash to buy me a vehicle and I have never been so happy and proud to drive a used vehicle in my life! Thank you Jesus for bringing me to this point in my life. The road to get here was SO SO SO beyond difficult, but I am thankful for every bit of it!!

Now...what would become of that CNC machine????

Friday, July 9, 2010

Mostly Fingerprints Part 10

The new year brought a bit of hope. The lease on my Mercedes was up in March, so that would free up $1000 every month. This would eliminate some of the time I was having to spend every month making arrangements with the phone and utility companies to keep everything turned on. We could see a bit of a light, but then there was also the looming end to Shawn's business. He was concerned with his employees and helping them to find more business, as well as how he was going to provide for his own family. Again, my faithful God spoke to me on a day when the possibilities of the future seemed more scary than exciting. One thing that was continually my worry was our children and how this was going to affect them. He led me to 2 Samuel 14:11 "...As surely as the Lord lives...not a hair on your son's head will be disturbed." That same day God also filled me with more answers. Shawn had been talking to several different people about buying the entire business, or even just his end of the business which was the granite fabrication. I cannot tell you the countless number of conversations he had, the advice he was given by other successful businessmen, and how he was torn with what he should be doing. We had just sat and discussed several possibilities and options but God knew there was only one option and wanted to be sure we understood this. All in one day, this is what God shared with me:

Amos 9:12-13 ..."The LORD has spoken and he will do these things. 'The time will come', says the Lord, 'when the grain and grapes will grow faster than they can be harvested.' "
Introduction to Job ... Friends give answers that are technically true, but God wants us to stay in touch with His living realities.
Acts 5:27-32..."We must obey God rather than any human authority."
Job 6:24-27... Job was questioning his friends and their lack of specification. He was asking them to tell him the truth.
Hosea 12:1-14...Businessmen engage in freud. Return to God and don't give up on Him EVER!

God was very clearly telling us to focus on Him and what He says and not to place hope in what others were telling us to do. He was telling me once again that He will do what He has said, and to simply stay focused on Him!

So, we pressed on. Each day was definitely a gift because at any minute the bank could have chosen to shut it all down. Shawn was reluctant to take on new jobs and sign contracts he may not be able to fulfill if he no longer had a job. He had to look at his employees and tell them he couldn't assure them their job day by day, and yet they stuck by him. It all seems so much less taxing when I write it in blog form, but living it day to day was quite the test. However, I knew what God had said, I was hanging onto it tightly so that satan didn't steal my hope...and I was waiting for His word to come to pass!

Mostly Fingerprints Part 9

As I sit on my bed with journals spread across the comforter, my bible in hand and laptop at the ready...I'm not sure if I shared this is my previous blog, but it is very important and I need to mention it. On June 5th, 2008 God led me to Acts 7:11-15. Through this scripture He spoke to me that there would be a move or a change that would end our financial hardships. Remember...I only see with human eyes, and so I am thinking a physical move and possibly out of town. I resolved to the fact that if that is where He was leading it had to be better than what was going on!

Throughout the Fall of 2008 God continued to leave mostly fingerprints. Some of them we couldn't see until when we looked back on the situation. But one thing was evident to me every single day...God had not shown up in the mighty way that I had been praying for! Another truth became evident during this time...the family business that Shawn had helped to build with his dad for almost 2 decades was coming to an end. I'm sure you can just hear my thoughts..."Ummm...God. Things are getting worse, and not better. How could you let this happen? Is this our lot in life, because I am SO miserable I can't possibly be doing any good for your kingdom! Where are you God?????" These were things God heard quite often from me, and looking back I must have reminded him of the Israelites! Regardless of the food falling from the sky for them, the sea opening up so that they could flee from the army, and countless other miracles they actually saw with their own eyes...not to mention the cloud they followed by day and the fire by night...they still wanted more from God. Humanness at it's all time stinkiest, and I was acting just like them. Satan continued to try and wreck my thoughts, and I'll have to admit that on some days he was successful.

On November 6th, 2008...when we knew that bankruptcy for the business was eminent, I sat down to pray. I reminded God of all of the scriptures he'd led me to with regards to rescue and harvest...and most of all the recurring way He spoke deep into my spirit that He didn't want us to sell the house because it was the enemy that devoured. I knew if He was telling us to keep the house He would provide. But where was the provision? My human eyes looked and saw financial struggle and Shawn losing his job on top of that! God led me to Numbers 11:23, "Has my arm lost its power? Now you will see whether or not my word comes true!" Wow. Again, He spoke directly to me. I knew my hope was in God, and even though I had momentary lapses when satan used my mind as a playground...I fully trusted God. (AND He had just reminded me to do so!) I was scared about His plan, but I knew He knows what is best for our life. Somewhere during this time I attended a Beth Moore live simulcast at our church. God used her to keep me focused and to refresh my focus. It was so simple, and yet SO huge! Beth shared that when God gives you a word and you know that He has spoken...it will be tested. Hang onto it, believe, and don't let satan still your hope. God had spoken, and we were still in the testing because we weren't ready just yet.

Christmas was upon us, and we somehow managed to buy gifts for the kids. I will tell you though, that the holiday doesn't stand out in my mind as a super difficult time. We had unexpected money come to us from God and so we made it. I had also learned by this time to try and make the best of what God had given to us. Instead of everyday being a complete fight with God about what He had NOT done yet, I realized that was part of this lesson. I needed to find JOY in Him and not what He has or hasn't given me.

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Mostly Fingerprints Part 8

I have SO enjoyed looking back over my letters to God and the scriptures that He has led me to over the past few years. It is so apparent on some days that I was extremely frustrated simply by my writing and the large question marks I drew across my pages! Definitely not a time I want to revisit, however I am thankful for all of it because of what I have learned! Even though I am thankful, there were certainly days I was plenty angry with our situation. The good 'ole Jonah attitude took over, and I was questioning why we were struggling so harshly while others who could care less about God, much less their testimony for him, were seemingly without a care and certainly not struggling to pay their bills and keep their family fed! My friend, Angie, and I had spent many hours contemplating this one!!

One day in particular God led me to Malachi 3:14-15. I seriously felt as if I were a child complaining aloud in my room with my door shut, and my dad swings open the door and repeats to me what I'd said only to let me know He can hear my every word. You see, the scripture says "You have said: It is useless to serve God. What have we gained by keeping His requirements and walking mournfully before the LORD of Hosts. So now we consider the arrogant to be fortunate. Not only do those who commit wickedness prosper, the even test God and escape.' " A couple of days later, which seems like an eternity when you are waiting on God, He led me to the follow up scripture, Malachi 3:16.."At that time those who feared the LORD spoke to one another. The LORD took notice and listened. So a book of remembrance was written before Him for those who feared Yahweh and had high regard for His name." Wow...again...my God who wakes the sun up each morning and puts it to bed each night, my God who spoke the earth into existence, my God who gave up perfection in Heaven and came to earth to suffer brutality and death on a cross, my God who conquered the grave and rose to live again...MY God was speaking to me once again. I cannot explain to you how incredible this makes me feel!!

(I want to share with you that at this very moment I can hear, "this is not going to make sense. You might as well leave it out." For a second I stopped, but then realized Satan is trying to sabotage my efforts of sharing how Christ works in my life. Interesting that there is spiritual warfare going on as I type!)

As incredible as I felt when He spoke to me, it is amazing how I needed that constant reassurance. I could not see with my eyes, there was no groundbreaking change even though God had repeatedly assured me through the scriptures and through prayer that change was coming. I'm sure I sounded like a broken record to Him on most days. When God? How God? What is taking you so long God? I can only imagine how I frustrated Him so!

Summer of 2008 came and went, very slowly it seemed. It was time for school to start and we needed to buy school supplies, clothes, shoes. Only, there was nothing extra to buy these things with. Why is it when you are struggling financially everything seems SO difficult? Could it possibly be that too much faith and hope is put in money instead of in God? Hmmmm...

A little side note, during my intense seeking of God He continually gave me scriptures with reference to the state of our nation. I didn't understand and talked to Shawn about them for his input. For example, Amos 6:3-6 "You are cruel and you forget the coming day of judgment...You drink all the wine you want and wear expensive perfume, but you don't care about the ruin of your nation." I was getting this type of scripture about as often as ones that I understood. It wouldn't be long before I totally understood what God was saying. Banks began closing, the failing condition of our economy was spread all over the news, and foreclosures were on the rise. Wow...how, in the midst of so much hardship and economic failure would our situation change? I know God must have been smiling at this thought!!




Friday, June 25, 2010

Mostly Fingerprints Part 7

I finally found the scripture when I KNEW God was telling me to share my story with others. On July 6th, 2008 God led me to Zechariah 8:20-21 which talks about leaders from all over coming to see what's going on and trying to get in on God's blessings. It was then that I knew that God was instructing me to tell others what he'd done in my life and how we've come to the point where we stand today.

It wasn't long after the letter sharing that we said good-bye to family coaching, but something I continued and still do to this day is seek God's daily word for me in scripture. I LOVE this part of my day, and could go on and on about how He talks to me!! But, back to the story...

The next few months were mainly a struggle financially. On paper, NOTHING added up. I was still receiving checks from my business, even though I wasn't working it. That would be the beauty of residual income. I still am not sure if that business was God's plan for my life, but just as He promises in His word He makes all things work together for the good of those who seek Him!! We were having to use the company credit card just to makes ends meet each month. We cut everything out that we possibly could, and continued to pray that God would show us what we needed to do. (We even gave up a paid vacation at the Great Wolf Lodge in Grapevine because we could not afford the gas to get there!) Continually I would get scriptures telling me the harvest was ready, abundance was coming, and God spoke these very scriptures along with a peace deep into my spirit so that I knew He was speaking these very living words to me...(not quoted but paraphrased, and some are linked to how God spoke to me directly through the scripture)

June 22nd, 2008: Psalm 119:89-96 Look beyond what human eyes can see. God is more powerful than I can wrap my mind around
July 6th, 2008: 2 Kings 3:16-19 It is going to come from unexpected and unexplained resources. This is easy for God!
July 11th, 2008: Isaiah 31:1-3 God does what he says and he can do anything.
July 11th, 2008: Job 36:5-15 Too much pride has caused the trouble. God delivers and promotes the righteous endlessly.
July 14th, 2008: Matthew 1:20-23 God does what he says he'll do
July 15th, 2008: Jeremiah 51:11-13 God will do what He says, He'll set things right.
July 22nd, 2008: Psalm 22:30-31 God does what he says!

***Keep in mind that day to day we still had bills to pay and the stress of not being able to pay them was overwhelming for me. Not being able to see the end result, I struggled with what God had in store for us. Was the abundance and "everything being o.k." in heaven? He had told me that it was going to be o.k. ... but I couldn't see it just yet, and so in His loving way He repeatedly led me to different scriptures in the bible that said specifically that "God does what He says". I love the way He comforts and reassures me!!!***

God also repeatedly led me to the book of Jonah, which is a very short book so I read it many times. He showed me that during this time I was seeking him and obeying him, but I was still getting angry at God because our condition had not changed. We had hope in him, but questioned that hope when we couldn't see with our human eyes. Satan took that questioning and turned into anger when things were so stressful and God didn't seem to be there. I was acting just like Jonah, who finally obeyed but then got angry with God when God didn't do what Jonah expected him to. Wow! Thank you God for such a personal lesson!!

So...while he repeatedly led me to scriptures and spoke rescue and hope into me, things seemingly were not changing. On June 5th, God had led me to Acts 7:11-15 and I KNEW that I KNEW that I KNEW that there was going to be a change that would end our financial hardships. I felt certain that a move would be involved, I just wasn't sure how or when. The days, weeks, and months wore on. Shawn's family business continued to fail, and they were seeking daily someone to buy the business or partner with them. Each lead led to hope, and then dissapointment when the lead fell through. Summer turned into fall, and our situation was the same. We were thankful that we had not sank, but I often felt like I was in a funnel and the sand was falling quickly below me as I was grappling to stay at the top...fighting my fears and holding onto God.

(My kids are begging me for breakfast, and as much as I want to continue with this post...I must be a mommy!)






Monday, June 21, 2010

Mostly Fingerprints Part 6

Each week Shawn and I were writing our letters to God, seeking scripture, and meeting with our coach. After several sessions, our assignment was to write a letter to each other. The letter was to include how we had been hurt by our spouse. I put the letter off all week knowing this couldn't be a good thing. I would have to read this letter to the coach, and then to Shawn. First of all, if you know me...you know there is nothing that I had not already "shared" with Shawn. But it was our assignment. SO...I sat down and started writing. Then I stopped, prayed about what God would have me to share, and went on about my business. The share session came, and Shawn left the room so that I could read my letter to the coach. Then she left to go and listen to Shawn's letter. They both came back. Shawn was pretty sure I needed to go first, but somehow I won out and he went first...only, he didn't have a letter. I think this was the most cherished and loved I'd felt by him in a LONG time. His reasoning was that he didn't want to hurt me...he saw me as fragile and went on to explain why. A flood rushed over me and that was a huge turning point for us. He did still care...about my feelings, about protecting me. (Now some of you reading this may be thinking it wasn't healthy for him not to share...apparently what he did was the exact thing that needed to be done). It was my time to share, and just as Shawn felt there was not a need for a letter...this is what God had told me when I prayed about what to write. Shawn had already heard all of his trangressions over the years and there was no point in airing them in front of someone else. I'm not sure how it made him feel, but it felt good to me. It was almost like wiping the slate clean and preparing to step forward. I was choosing to behave like my Father. The sun started to shine a little brighter that day, but clouds were still in the forecast. Would they bring a refreshing rain or would a trip to the storm shelter be needed?

Saturday, June 19, 2010

Mostly Fingerprints Part 5

It seems as I tell this story, there are so many details of fingerprints that I am leaving out...but I may bog down the entire blogger website if I fill all of those details in! I just pray each time I write that I am doing God justice and that the reader can truly understand how victorious He is in our lives and in our circumstances. These entries would be completely different if He were not in control of our lives!! On that same note, just because He is in our lives doesn't mean we do not face the same trials and heartaches as those who are not Christians. We face it all, we just know in the end, with Christ...we win!!

Back to the story. It is May of 2008 and I am miserable in my marriage, simply put. How could this happen to us? We were SO passionately in love early on, we were both Christians, and we knew that the dissolution of marriage was not of God. What had happened? HOW could this be happening? Did God not see everything else that was going on? ( One thing I forgot to mention was that after Hollis was born, I began having severe joint pain all over my body. So now...my battle was also physical!) Had I not had enough??? Apparently not, so there we sat...and the only reason in my head that I thought I was there was for my kids. Satan had blinded me into thinking I was completely finished with our marriage, which is odd because I felt so close to God with regards to other areas of my life but somehow satan had an entry point into our marriage as big as the Grand Canyon! The young lady at Family Coaching (which is a free Christian service that I would recommend to anyone and everyone for any issue you are going through) talked to us for a bit and then handed us both The Message/Remix. Our assignment before we came back to see her the next time was to write letters to God everyday that were at least 3 pages long, as well as randomly turn to scripture and allow God to use His words to speak to us. NOW...some of you may be thinking the random scripture idea is rubbish, just let me know and I will give you PAGES and PAGES of scripture where He has point blank answered my prayer in a way that was so direct that He might as well have been physically standing next to me speaking in an audible voice!
I still have my journals of letters to God and the scriptures that he led me to. My first journal entry is dated May 22nd, 2008. The very first scripture that God "randomly" led me to on May 23rd was 2nd Kings 13:5. "...The children of Israel were able to live at peace in their own homes". I knew from that very minute that we were right where we needed to be, God was going to heal our marriage, and there would be peace. He also told me again the very next day that He did not want divorce for Shawn and I. The scriptures that he led me to on May 24th was in Isaiah 1: God's right actions will restore her pentinents. But it's curtains for rebels and God-Traitors, a dead end for those that walk out on God. Again, I heard Him loud and clear. If I trusted Him and did not walk away from the hope He gives and His will that all things will be restored!
Joel 3...God is a safe hiding place...the sky turns black, the earth quakes and all the world seems doomed but my refuge is in God. He is my protection and there I find all I need. Wow...He was on a roll! I felt like my whole world had been crumbling, but I knew God was saying you are going to be o.k. and that He was all I needed!!
My 3rd verse for that day was Job 33:29-30 (if you have read the book of Job, you know why I cringed when I saw that is where I was reading from!) This is the way God works. Over and over again He pulls our souls back from certain destruction so we'll see the light-and live in the light. Wow only two days into this journey of letter writing and seeking God's direction through scripture and I was 4 for 4! Thank you God!!
Was our marriage immediately cured? No. But I had a hope because I had heard clearly from God. Because I was seeking Him, He was pulling me back from disaster, He was protecting me, we would be restored and there would be peace in our home once again.
This is kind of becoming like Friday the 13th sequels, I know...but look for Part 6 soon! This story isn't over!

Friday, June 18, 2010

Mostly Fingerprints Part 4

So, we now have a bright spot in our family after having gone through the death of my sister. Hollis came home from the hospital on Thanksgiving Day 2007, and so while the emotional tone around my house was elevated with the excitement of the newest addition, there was an unappreciated guest...heartache. It was there, for the most part unannounced and we all tried our best to avoid it. Christmas was a time of obvious pain, tears, and more honesty with emotions. By the time February rolled around, I was a wreck. Partially due to postpartum, but mainly due to unbelievable grief over the loss of Sherri as well as stress and tension due to our financial circumstances. I decided to tackle a 21 day fast in order to find answers from God on all of the turmoil going on in my life. For the first time in my life I felt beyond connected with God. He ended my severe grief over Sherri's death and gave me hope in our financial future. At the end of my fast, I was praying one day and felt very strongly God was leading me to give my entire check to our church's building fund. Now...this meant we would fall another month behind on our mortgage which we were already playing catch up on. This SO did not make sense, and you can bet that satan tried to make me believe that I misunderstood God. Satan tried to make me believe there was no way this would work. The mortgage company would surely take our house if we did this. I was like a little girl who was scared to death to tell her parents she'd done something wrong when I had to share with Shawn what God was telling me. You see, I felt it in my spirit, but God hadn't spoken to Shawn and so how was he going to understand this? He wasn't happy, but he knew I had to obey. The next morning arrived, and I went to my online banking center to see if my check had been deposited. I fully expected a certain amount, because God had revealed to me an exact amount of what I needed to give to the church. (If you have not ever understood deep in your spirit what God is telling you...down to a number amount for a check... I encourage you to really seek Him and spend some time immersed in Him. It is a wonderful feeling to know Him in this way!!!) I sat shocked looking at my computer, because my check was for more than the amount that I was SURE God had revealed to me in my prayer the day before. I went to my closet, got down on my knees and asked for clarification and immediately He gave me the understanding I needed. The "overage" in my check was my tithe off of the check! ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I sat with a smile on my face when I realized that the difference between what I was sure God was telling me to give and the total amount of the check was the 10% God commands that we give to him. I was very familiar with the tithe because this was something that Shawn and I felt strongly convicted to do...even though we needed that money so badly every month, we knew it wasn't an option to hang onto it. That would signify a lack of trust in our God...and we KNEW he was so much bigger than that 10%!! So I made the checks out and gave them to the church. (For the record, we didn't lose our house...in fact, the over zealous man I dealt with at the mortgage company never even questioned it!)
I was still determined to make my career with the home based business work until a few months later when God began speaking to me as he had during my fast. He made it very clear it was time to let that dream go. Keep in mind how awful our financial situation had become. The crazy car payment, our house payment that we could not afford even with my check from my business...it did NOT make sense to me that God was telling me to let that go. My husband's solution was to put the house up for sale, and from a human perspective this seemed like a no-brainer. If you can't afford the house you are living in, you sell it. We had already cut out everything that we could cut out. We were upside down on his truck and couldn't sell it, we still had a year on my car lease...so the house was the only thing that seemed doable. I prayed about it and very clearly heard the Lord tell me that it is the enemy who devours and it wasn't His will for us to lose our home. Shawn and I had several "conversations" about needing to sell the house, but I knew that was not what God wanted us to do. In the meantime, there was a day when I had a few things that I needed to return...all totalling about $40, but we REALLY needed that money to make it to Shawn's next check. I went to all 3 places that held my money...only my items were unreturnable. One was an Easter holiday item, and since I was passed that date I couldn't return it. I couldn't find the receipt for one, and I don't even know what the issue was with the third item. There in my car that we could not afford but could not get rid of I sat, talking to God. In an almost audible voice I heard, "Let ME do this". I realized I was still trying to control things if it was only by digging up items around the house that I could get money for! That was a pivotal moment for me as far as knowing that God was wanting me to let it ALL go and rely on Him completely!!
The next pivotal point I found myself in was in May of 2008...Shawn and I were sitting in an office at the family coaching facility. Due to all of the craziness we'd gone through over the past year...death, financial struggle, huge issues with his job which caused him to work late and added more stress to both of our plates...we found ourselves in the middle of a marriage that neither of us were happy in and were not sure how to make it work anymore. More to come...

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Mostly Fingerprints Part 3

So it is now the summer of 2007. I am in my third trimester of pregnancy and things are about as stressful as they could ever be. Each week I am making trips to Amarillo to visit my sister in the hospital and praying for a miracle. After all, God had already healed her once from brain cancer when she'd been given less than a year to live. Life at home was taking a toll as Shawn's job situation wasn't getting any better, nor were our finances and I was basically living as a single mom and dealing with all of the stress alone...or so it seemed. There was little time for Shawn and I to be together, and so we began to drift further and further apart. Then I was told I would not be allowed to see my sister anymore because of MRSA and the danger to my unborn son. WHAT?!?! Did they not know that my parents needed me there, I needed to be there. This was my sister, laying in the hospital unable to talk or move half of her body. Life as she knew it was no longer. What would she think when I didn't show up anymore? Would she understand that my absence was being forced and not by my will?
In September it became very real that God wasn't going to step in and heal my sister when she was placed in Hospice care, and so I headed to Amarillo once again and was allowed to see her if I completely covered up each time I entered her room. After several days she passed away, her funeral came and went and yet I felt like my grieving was limited because each time I was upset Leagan and Addie Claire would get upset. So I held it in, and turned my focus to the upcoming arrival of my first son. His birth would be a bright spot for our family and a reminder that the Lord takes away, but He also gives abudantly! While everything around me seemed to be crumbling, Hollis arrived in November of 2007 and the world seemed bright once again...at least for a while. You know the routine, stay tuned...

Sunday, June 6, 2010

Mostly Fingerprints Part 2

After looking over my last post, it may have been a bit rough to follow. I said I would start the story in 2005, then backed up to 2000. Anywho, fast forward to 2005 and my phone is ringing. It was my cousin on the other line offering my an opportunity with a home based business. I don't remember praying about the decision, but had been praying for provision...so I just knew this was God! For the next couple of years I was a part of this business, and for a bit my checks were larger than Shawn's. One of the perks of the business was they paid qualifying consultants to drive a Mercedes. I reached that level within 3 months and so straight to the dealership I went. We were also building a home at the time, unsure if we'd move in or sale that home for a profit since Shawn was doing most of the work. Due to my huge increase in salary, we decided to move into the house. Everything was well for a few months. Our bills were being paid on time and it appeared as if we were set for smooth sailing. ICEBERG dead ahead! My business took a sharp turn about as quickly as it rose to the top, and we found ourselves with a $1000 car payment for just my car and a house payment we could no longer afford. Again, we started sinking. In the past, we always seem to be able to pull out of our slumps. This time, it was different. My car was on a lease and so we could not just get rid of it, we were upside down on the financing for Shawn's truck so we'd have to pay to sale it. (I promise all of this is going somewhere!) We had fallen behind on our mortgage and so we were having to pay an extra $1000 per month to catch up...AND my checks had been cut into a 1/4 of what they had been!! Oh, I was also pregnant with our third child, Shawn's family business was sinking and he was working at all hours, and my oldest sister was struggling in the hospital after a massive stroke. Stress was at an all time high with no relief in sight...but I held on to God the best I knew how! Little did I know I was going to need him more than ever in the months to come! Stay tuned...

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Mostly Fingerprints

I've learned over the past few years, that often times when God is moving it is most often evident AFTER He has left His fingerprints. Sometimes He leaves Godsized footprints, but mostly it is fingerprints that leads up to one large incredible picture!
Prepare yourself for some airing of dirty laundry as Shawn used to call it! This may be the first of several posts as this is a long story!
I am not altogether sure of where this story starts, but I'll start at the beginning of where it will mean the most to you! In 2005, God began moving and I had no idea where we would wind up. We always knew once our first baby was born that I would stay at home with her, but giving up my teaching salary...even as small as it was...would be rough. So, in 2000, I took a job at the doctor's office I had worked at during college. God provided pretty close to my teacher's salary and I just worked two days a week for a total of about 10 hours AND I was able to take Leagan to work with me from the time she was born until she was about 4 months old. Now...at this time, I didn't necessarily see this as God's provision. You see, I was not walking closely with the Lord at this time. Although we went to church every week, that was really where I left God I am sad and ashamed to say. Things had become very frustrating at the office, and so after praying about it I knew God was telling me to quit that job. WHAT!?!?!?! That was like the ideal situation...being salaried at $2,000 a month for 10 hours a week. Are you kidding me?? No, He was not kidding me.
So, I turned in my two weeks notice, but then made another choice without really praying through it. You see, from a human standpoint...we needed that income and I wasn't ready to trust God completely. Now, this will sound ridiculous from a money perspective...but I took a job working at a KDO program 2 days a week. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that going from $2000 a month to $300 a month was not going to be good...and it wasn't. We stayed behind on all of our bills and were simply in a mess. At the end of the first year of teaching at KDO I felt God telling me again to stay at home. NOW...at this point, prayer had become a bigger part of my life. Not close to where it should have been, but much better than before. So again, I obeyed trusting God to provide. A few weeks later, I was offered my job back at the doctor's office but the Holy Spirit was telling me this was not a good idea. Shawn and I talked it over, and based on finances it was a no brainer but I couldn't help but feel like I would be taking the control away from God to return to a job that He had led me away from. I turned the job down, and within days received another phone call that would set our lives spinning in another direction. Stay tuned...

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Body by God

So this morning, God spoke once again...but I'm not sure I like what He said. You see, if there is something I don't like about myself I have the ultimate determination to change it. From physical flaws to character quirks...I am Johnny on the Spot with correction!
About six weeks after Hollis was born, I began to battle joint pain. There were some days it hurt to just hold my newborn son. The pain isn't just in my hands, but throughout the joints in my entire body. I never know when I wake up where it will hurt. This has been very hard for me to accept because it is something I can't change. Before you ask, I have tried different joint treatments. The pain has kept me from going to the gym, which is beyond irritating to me...but again, something I can't control. So, being the determinated woman I am, I just have pushed through it and for the most part can ignore any of the pain while I am working out. I am not about to let this silliness get me down!
About 3 weeks ago, I began having almost severe pain in my left foot without an obvious cause. Not in the joint, but on the bottom center of my foot. When the pain wasn't sharp, it was aching. After 4 days I decided it needed to be checked out, and so off to the chiropractor I go. He did some evalutaions with an instrument and an x-ray or two and determined there is swelling in the bone. Bsaically a pre-fracture. Whew...it wasn't a fracture, because immediately in my mind I'm thinking 6 weeks of NO GYM. Some swelling...that'll go away fast. After the first week of 3 treatments with the laser to reduce swelling, it became obvious this wasn't going to be a quick fix. The second week past, and my frustrations grew because the pain was still lingering.
Now...more than 3 weeks into this silliness, here I am. Sitting on my bed typing this blog when I should be getting ready to go to the gym for Turbo Kick...which I love. It is a total body workout, which I need with Summer coming on at full speed and not having gone to the gym in so long.
ENTER THE VOICE OF GOD. I was driving home this morning after dropping the kids off and thinking of what I could go to the gym and do for cardio that wouldn't hurt my foot. My mind began taking me down the road of "if I'm going to be ready for summer and comfortable in the heat bearing attire I'll have to wear, I have GOT to get to the gym. I can control this if I can just get to the gym". God clearly interjected a, "let ME do this". I have heard this before with our finances, and He DID do it. We have never been in a better position financially, but my body? How is God going to tone my body as if I'd gone to the gym everyday for weeks? Or is he just going to change my heart so that I accept flab? I'll choose to believe the tone! I have had the thought that the bone swelling was yet another lesson on my way home. And here it is. My whole issue with my body image that I've had for as long as I can remember...God is choosing now to press the issue. In my late 30's when things don't tighten and tone as quick as I'd like, or stay that way for very long without maintenance! When summer is knocking at the door, which means bathing suits, shorts, tank tops...grrrrrr. Why now, Lord...why now?
And so here I sit, admittedly still trying to figure out the cardio dilema...but knowing that God is working on me. Refer back to the second sentence in this blog...God knows that determination, He is the one that gave it to me. He is just trying to channel it right now. I am also obedient, determined....but obedient. And so without hesitation, I know this lesson will be taught as well as accepted. I'm just in the beginning stages of digesting it all, and I'm sure irritating God in the process!

Monday, May 17, 2010

Parent Through Me




This morning, God spoke to me in the most simple, and humorous, way. I've had this thought before, but this morning I felt it settle into my spirit.

At a little after 5:00 am, I crawled out of bed and made my way to Leagan's room. I kneeled by her bed, placed my hand upon her...and as she lay so still I prayed for Leagan in a special way. God knows Leagan better than anyone...He created her. As a parent, sometimes our children's personalties are frustrating at the same time they are admired. There are many characteristics, especially within Leagan, that I'm not quite sure how to parent...but God does. So, I claimed Luke 11: 9-10, asking and knowing that I would recieve. Maybe not the why, but the how...and I'm o.k. with that. You see, I want her to be the very best she can be according to God's will. She was created for a purpose, and I would never want to stand in the way of that perfection. She is my oldest, and so in many ways she is the guinea pig. However, trusting God to lead my every step with her gives me peace. As I just thought about the whole guinea pig analogy I realized that isn't really true. Why not? Because her sister is nothing like her...

The time had now come to quietly make my way to Addie Claire's room. Since it was so early in the morning, it was still very dark and the only light I had was the bit that managed to survive from the window over the front door, but even that light dimmed less than half way down the hall. I opened her door and started towards her bed. What light I had was gone, and within the first few steps I took came my first stumble. There is something that you should know about my 2nd child. She is VERY free-spirited, is unaffected by clutter, and would love nothing more than to dance, sing, and do cartwheels all day. As I stepped on one of many things that littered her bedroom floor, I smiled. This is the moment that the Lord spoke so deeply into my spirit. Whatever I tripped on is part of Addie Claire. It is a part of her characteristics...a part of her very being. She doesn't get bogged down and fret over the small things. It is one of those frustrating yet admired characteristics that she has, and since she was created by God...there is a purpose for those very traits. While I would love to have her room clean, I realized in a way I never had before that this is Addie Claire. I smiled as I began to pray. She must have turned over at least 3 or 4 times, which is also so typical of her. She is never still, even as she sleeps. I prayed, just as I did with Leagan, that God would help me to parent Addie Claire in a way that would help to accomplish His will for her. Just as Leagan was created for a purpose, so was Addie Claire.

Although they are both from the same family line, the girls are VERY different. What works for one, frustrates the other. Leagan prefers stucture and rules, Addie Claire would rather there be music and free play all day! I do not know on most days how to be a parent to the two of them, but I am so thankful that my God does. He knows exactly what they respond to, how to correct them without defeating them, and how to encourage the very spirits He created. I am perfectly imperfect, and for me to try and do this on my own would be foolish. 1 Corinthians 1:30 reminds me that my wisdom comes from Christ, and that is why I call on Him daily. While I feel on most days that I fail miserably, God's word also tells me that I am renewed each day. So, this is a new day for me to rely on God to love through me and parent through me. I am so excited to see what God has in store for Leagan and Addie Claire, and to see how their personalities are used by Him for His kingdom.

Now...Hollis is a completely new blog post!

Saturday, May 1, 2010

I'm Sorry, How much??

So, we are a few weeks into Addie Claire's gluten free diet and while I'm still learning...I do feel a lot more confident. I spoke with a friend last week, who has a daughter with celiac disease, and she was a mountain of help for me! (Thanks Keri!!) My knowing her was not by chance, but another piece of God's divine plan!!
One thing I've learned oh so quickly is that in order to plan meals, pack lunches, and provide snacks for Addie Claire that do not upset her tummy...our budget must change! I bought a box of 6 corndogs and a small container of ice cream made from coconut milk for $15 and some change! A package of "oreos" that are gluten free, which is less than half of the size of a regular package of Oreos...$6.00!
Here is where God enters this picture. You see a year ago, had we known that Addie Claire needed to be as gluten/dairy free as possible we would not have been able to afford to feed her correctly! What a difference a year makes, and what a difference GOD makes! Because He led Shawn to his current employment as Owner and Founder of Rockwater (which I might add the name was chosen based on Moses's faith in God...strike the rock, water will come) we are totally able to pay the jump in grocery costs. I seriously want to shout from the mountain top how incredible God...the one true God...is. I wish all of my friends and family could know Him as I do!
So, although our trips to the grocery store includes a much higher cost, God has once again provided for our family. Not only has He given us the means to provide the food she needs, but he has also placed key people in my life to help me learn more about living a gluten-free lifestyle.
When I think about how so many things have fallen into place, I am speechless yet again at His mercy and grace upon our lives!

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Heaven's Smile




I got a call yesterday that absolutely made my birthday more than perfect. Let me give you a few details that led up to this phone call...
My nephew, Christopher (aka Chris, Topher, Cristo) had accepted a pretigious internship this summer in Dallas. It was, by his explanation, the cooder graw of all opportunities for someone in his position. He is a chemical engineering major at Texas Tech and is, in my opinion, brilliant! The one drawback to the internship is that he was not going to be able to go on a mission trip to Tanzania this summer with our church. He took the answered prayer of the internship as a closed door as far as the opportunity in Africa. He would soon learn, in his own words, "not to put God in a box". Almost out of a fairy tale, the rest of the story began to unfold as he was pursued by another company for the internship. Even after explaining his current commitment to the company in Dallas, the gentlemen would not budge and continued to discuss the opportunity with Cristo. Long story short, it is a smaller company that is self funded and doing really well. Now, keep in mind I know nothing about either company and just have to rely on Cristo to fill in the gaps within my non-engineering brain. After a meeting, and really no negotiations because they were going to meet his salalry AND pay all of his living expenses on top of a signing bonus...he was set to start down a completely different road for his summer "vacation" that would lead him to Midland instead of Dallas. All the while, the gentleman at our church coordinating the mission trip repeatedly was telling him that he just felt like God was going to get him to Africa.
Yesterday, he recieved a phone call from the Midland company to let him know that they would allow him the 10 days to go on the Mission Trip!!! Looking back over everything that has happened, it is obvious that God is working out the details so that Cristo is in line with His will. While he has less than a week to raise $2000 for the airfare, remember..."don't put God in a box". (AND...if you'd like to help him, he would be more than grateful!!)

Now, while my heart swells with pride for him, my eyes cry. I SO wish Sherri could be here to see how INCREDIBLE he has turned out, and the heart he has for Jesus. I know this is my humanness, because what could be better than heaven, right? I am so proud of her for laying a foundation that Cristo knows is unshakeable...and he is building his life on it. I know that she would be SO proud of him...in fact, I can almost see heaven's smile.

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Where Did The Time Go?



Wow...I can't believe it has been SO long since I last posted! We have been busy to say the least.

First thing first...Addie Claire had her scope with biopsies. Praise God there is no internal damage and she does NOT have celiac disease! Although she is still sensitive to gluten and that has been a big change in and of itself...we do not have to be concerned about every touch of gluten she may accidentally get and the damage it will do internally!! We now are busy with gymnastics, soccer, a childrens musical, and a quickly approaching dance recital. All of this while learning how to cook gluten free every night of the week, packing lunches that follow her "safe" diet, and tend to the needs of the rest of the family! Whew...I'm tired just typing it!!!

This weekend, we visited the Lubbock Arts Festival. It was raining and cold, and so under normal circumstances it would have been easy to put off the outing. However, because Leagan's art had been chosen to be put on display, we were not going to miss it! We are so proud of her, and the way she uses the talent God has given her. We knew from the time she was young that she not only could draw/color, but she had incredible ideas and always added the most unique details to her creations. It as such an honor to be with her and see her chalk painting hanging with other young artist's work!! We are currently inquiring about some private art lessons to help her grow her God given talent!

I guess that brings us up to speed, and hopefully I will not get so far behind again! Nothing philosophical about this post...simply the facts, my friends!!

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

A Change of Plans

As if the past few days haven't been trying enough with all of the focus on what Addie Claire can and can't eat...cue option of biopsy. Now, we originally decided on the DNA/fecal test because we were tired of going to the doctor and being given another medicine to try. We now know that she has a gluten sensitivity and the celiac gene, but does that mean celiac disease? Ummm, no. We have tossed around whether or not to have a biopsy to either confirm or deny the celiac diagnosis...after all, the diet change would be the same, right? Not necessarily, and yes. Confused? Good, so am I!! Well, not really, but I was!

Going completely gluten free is a HUGE undertaking, which involves new pots and pans, appliances and so forth in order to avoid cross contamination. I just can't even explain the dramatic change this is. Now...if she has the disease, the change is non-negotiable. However, if she is simply intolerant then we will not have to necessarily freak about getting a bit of gluten here and there.

After a long conversation with a good friend today, whose daughter happens to have celiac...we are choosing to have a biopsy. We simply want to know how strict to be with the gluten removal! This is a life long strict altering of diet for Addie Claire if she is celiac, and something we want to be sure of before we tackle it physically and emotionally. Stay tuned....

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Not Weird, Just Health Smart



Diets are very common in today's society, and the Wilson family has boldly joined the parade! However, our goal is not to lose weight as is common with the typical person who chooses an altering of daily food intake (although, I will not be angry if I drop a few pounds!). No, we are drastically changing what we eat in order to preserve the health and wellness of Addie Claire...and possibly others in our family who have not been tested.
To make an incredibly long story short...

About 3 or more years ago she began complaining of a tummy ache, sometimes more severe than others. We made trips to the ER and to a specialist. We were initially told she was constipated, then we were told she was not. We were told to try this and that when initial bloodwork and stool tests didn't show what the doctors were looking for. Turns out, they were looking at the wrong thing. This year, Addie Claire has a friend in her class with celiac...and her mom experienced the same run around that we had and finally chose a laboratory that does allergy and DNA testing. The test confirmed that Addie Claire does in fact have celiac disease, as well as an intolerance for the protein in cow's milk known as casein. Celiac is the protein part of wheat, rye, barley, and other related grains. Some people cannot tolerate gluten when it comes in contact with the small intestine, and this condition is known as celiac disease. The molecular structure of casein is very similar to gluten, so it is no surprise that she cannot tolerate that protein either. If left untreated, which treatment by the way is 100% diet regulation, more severe damages and illnesses can develop such as malnutrition, depression, miscarriages, infertility, cancer, autoimmune diseases and the list goes on. We are claiming God's grace in finding Addie Claire's before more serious complications arose!!

So...we are on a journey of figuring out what she (and since we are doing this as a family, we) can eat. It is not quite as easy as one would think since our food industry has SO many hidden labeling tactics. This morning, I thought sausage would be a safe choice for breakfast since we have not had time to completely research and restock our pantry and fridge. A few hours later she informed me that her tummy hurt, and after doing some investigation realized that the sausage had caramel coloring which is a no-no on the GFCF (gluten free/casein free) diet.
I feel like I have so much to learn in order to keep her healthy and educate her on good choices, but I am embracing this with a positive attitude. Our family will be better informed and have healthier eating habits as a result. We may now be referred to as weird, as we will be going primarily organic as well as gluten and casein free. So, when we arrive at the next birthday party complete with gift and our OWN little cake...don't label us as weird. We are on a lifelong journey becoming Health Smart!!!

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Model Behavior


If you are a parent, you are very aware of how your children model your behavior. The good and the bad...they pick up on it all! Last night, my oldest daughter attached a scripture with her tooth to leave for the tooth fairy. Including a scripture with a card, a note, a gift...this is something she has seen me do many times. Today, as I thought about that, a light turned on for me, thank you God.


A couple of weeks ago, I was driving and texting. Now...while this is something I very rarely do, God spoke to me through the eyes of my almost 10 year-old daughter. As I completed my message and hit send, I felt eyes upon me. I glanced back and saw something so vivid and clear...my child learning how to text and drive at the same time. Not only was she learning how to master the task, but I was the one showing her how to do it!


Today, I watched a program full of families left behind to deal with the devastating effects of someone using a phone while driving. From being too engaged in a phone conversation to texting their friends...the results were all the same. Death. Plain and simple. The studies and results were very enlightening, and are something I think everyone should know. Using a phone while driving makes you FOUR times more likely to have an accident while driving...which are the same percentages for driving at the legally drunk limit! Texting while driving makes you EIGHT times more likely to have and accident! EIGHT!!! Essentially, we are constantly among "drunk" drivers because if you look around most everyone is on the phone while operating such potentially deadly machinery. You use a bluetooth you say? It made no difference...it was the state of the mind and it's focus. Although the brain is capable of many things, research shows it simply does not function at the level it should when driving is married with texting or phone conversations.


While my oldest child is still 5 years away from driving, she will be entering that stage of life with texting being such a commonplace activity that an actual phone conversation may in fact be obsolete. In all honesty, based on one of the teenagers on the show, it is already more common for someone to text than to call among that age group. For now, my children are still impressionable and learning basic ways of life. It is my goal to teach them respect of the driver's seat which includes no more texting or talking on the phone while our car is in motion.


If you call me or text me while I am driving, please expect to get my voicemail. No more digging in my purse to find a ringing phone while I'm driving, texting to have someone save me a spot in Power class, or even picking up the phone to call and "say I love you" to someone. It is BECAUSE I love so many I am choosing to forego this behavior, and be a better model!


Friday, March 19, 2010

I Can Do This!






Before the cold weather settles in once again tomorrow, we decided to get outside one last time and enjoy the sunshine. Hollis wanted to ride his "motorcycle", but has not been able to figure out how to ride continuously. He, as most children his age, has a habit of pushing the pedals the wrong way and applying the brake unintentionally.

So here we go, out onto the sidewalk. The girls were laughing deliriously as they zoomed around on their plasma cars, and Hollis mounted his bike with a world full of confidence. He assumed the position and took off!! As I walked closely to make sure he didn't fall over, his words were clear and demanding..."No momma, I can do this!". I'm sorry..is this my not even 2 1/2 year old son telling me he doesn't need me???? Why yes, it certainly is.

While part of my heart was crying profusely, the rest of it was beaming with pride. As his sweet little words, as stern as they were, echo in my ears...I am forced to think of him not being my baby anymore. As tears well up, and I want to hang on to him with everything that I have...I am reminded by Hollis himself that I can let go..."I can do this".






Tuesday, March 16, 2010

The Run


This past weekend I was able to watch hard work and determination come to fruition at the Dallas Rock N Roll Half Marathon. My friend, Angie, and I decided for reasons unknown to begin training for the race in January. We looked at several different training schedules and went to work...never looking back!

Just as planned, we crossed the finish line together, and having my family there to watch me approach the finish line was absolutely priceless! It truly was an amazing experience, but I have to give complete credit to God. When life tried to get in the way of training...He was my determination. When, within the first mile, we headed downhill and I feared running back uphill...He was the voice inside me saying "I did not give you a spirit of fear". When my joints screamed from pain... He was the one who carried me. You see, HE was the best training plan I could find, and I totally relied on Him for success!






Why the Name?

I've contemplated a blog for a while now because I am a person of many words! So here I am taking the leap!! As I sat and wondered what to name my blog and what would best describe my life...other than sheer and utter chaos on most days...I came up with "Life On My Way Home".

1 Peter 2:11 describes me best as a temporary resident...an alien. My faith and hope are in Jesus Christ, and therefore my home is in heaven and each day I spend on this earth is part of my journey to eternity. Also in 1 Peter, as a Christian I am called to speak out about what God has done for me and so my prayer is that while I share everyday life with you...the reader... I am obedient in sharing God's work in my life!!