Friday, June 25, 2010

Mostly Fingerprints Part 7

I finally found the scripture when I KNEW God was telling me to share my story with others. On July 6th, 2008 God led me to Zechariah 8:20-21 which talks about leaders from all over coming to see what's going on and trying to get in on God's blessings. It was then that I knew that God was instructing me to tell others what he'd done in my life and how we've come to the point where we stand today.

It wasn't long after the letter sharing that we said good-bye to family coaching, but something I continued and still do to this day is seek God's daily word for me in scripture. I LOVE this part of my day, and could go on and on about how He talks to me!! But, back to the story...

The next few months were mainly a struggle financially. On paper, NOTHING added up. I was still receiving checks from my business, even though I wasn't working it. That would be the beauty of residual income. I still am not sure if that business was God's plan for my life, but just as He promises in His word He makes all things work together for the good of those who seek Him!! We were having to use the company credit card just to makes ends meet each month. We cut everything out that we possibly could, and continued to pray that God would show us what we needed to do. (We even gave up a paid vacation at the Great Wolf Lodge in Grapevine because we could not afford the gas to get there!) Continually I would get scriptures telling me the harvest was ready, abundance was coming, and God spoke these very scriptures along with a peace deep into my spirit so that I knew He was speaking these very living words to me...(not quoted but paraphrased, and some are linked to how God spoke to me directly through the scripture)

June 22nd, 2008: Psalm 119:89-96 Look beyond what human eyes can see. God is more powerful than I can wrap my mind around
July 6th, 2008: 2 Kings 3:16-19 It is going to come from unexpected and unexplained resources. This is easy for God!
July 11th, 2008: Isaiah 31:1-3 God does what he says and he can do anything.
July 11th, 2008: Job 36:5-15 Too much pride has caused the trouble. God delivers and promotes the righteous endlessly.
July 14th, 2008: Matthew 1:20-23 God does what he says he'll do
July 15th, 2008: Jeremiah 51:11-13 God will do what He says, He'll set things right.
July 22nd, 2008: Psalm 22:30-31 God does what he says!

***Keep in mind that day to day we still had bills to pay and the stress of not being able to pay them was overwhelming for me. Not being able to see the end result, I struggled with what God had in store for us. Was the abundance and "everything being o.k." in heaven? He had told me that it was going to be o.k. ... but I couldn't see it just yet, and so in His loving way He repeatedly led me to different scriptures in the bible that said specifically that "God does what He says". I love the way He comforts and reassures me!!!***

God also repeatedly led me to the book of Jonah, which is a very short book so I read it many times. He showed me that during this time I was seeking him and obeying him, but I was still getting angry at God because our condition had not changed. We had hope in him, but questioned that hope when we couldn't see with our human eyes. Satan took that questioning and turned into anger when things were so stressful and God didn't seem to be there. I was acting just like Jonah, who finally obeyed but then got angry with God when God didn't do what Jonah expected him to. Wow! Thank you God for such a personal lesson!!

So...while he repeatedly led me to scriptures and spoke rescue and hope into me, things seemingly were not changing. On June 5th, God had led me to Acts 7:11-15 and I KNEW that I KNEW that I KNEW that there was going to be a change that would end our financial hardships. I felt certain that a move would be involved, I just wasn't sure how or when. The days, weeks, and months wore on. Shawn's family business continued to fail, and they were seeking daily someone to buy the business or partner with them. Each lead led to hope, and then dissapointment when the lead fell through. Summer turned into fall, and our situation was the same. We were thankful that we had not sank, but I often felt like I was in a funnel and the sand was falling quickly below me as I was grappling to stay at the top...fighting my fears and holding onto God.

(My kids are begging me for breakfast, and as much as I want to continue with this post...I must be a mommy!)






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