Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Mostly Fingerprints Part 3

So it is now the summer of 2007. I am in my third trimester of pregnancy and things are about as stressful as they could ever be. Each week I am making trips to Amarillo to visit my sister in the hospital and praying for a miracle. After all, God had already healed her once from brain cancer when she'd been given less than a year to live. Life at home was taking a toll as Shawn's job situation wasn't getting any better, nor were our finances and I was basically living as a single mom and dealing with all of the stress alone...or so it seemed. There was little time for Shawn and I to be together, and so we began to drift further and further apart. Then I was told I would not be allowed to see my sister anymore because of MRSA and the danger to my unborn son. WHAT?!?! Did they not know that my parents needed me there, I needed to be there. This was my sister, laying in the hospital unable to talk or move half of her body. Life as she knew it was no longer. What would she think when I didn't show up anymore? Would she understand that my absence was being forced and not by my will?
In September it became very real that God wasn't going to step in and heal my sister when she was placed in Hospice care, and so I headed to Amarillo once again and was allowed to see her if I completely covered up each time I entered her room. After several days she passed away, her funeral came and went and yet I felt like my grieving was limited because each time I was upset Leagan and Addie Claire would get upset. So I held it in, and turned my focus to the upcoming arrival of my first son. His birth would be a bright spot for our family and a reminder that the Lord takes away, but He also gives abudantly! While everything around me seemed to be crumbling, Hollis arrived in November of 2007 and the world seemed bright once again...at least for a while. You know the routine, stay tuned...

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