The Ugandan Road

Wow...just wow. Going back to work full time with a family has rocked my world!  Any full time job on top of a family would rock it, but teaching kindergarten?  (any teacher knows that this is like 3 full time jobs!) That story is a completely different SERIES of blogs based on how God led me back into this chaos and how He has met me there every single day and wiped away every tear...and there have been LOTS!  I'm not quite sure how His leading me back into the classroom fits into The Ugandan Road, but it sure has delayed my posts about my travels along that road!

For those of you who have followed (and I am overwhelmed by the following all across the globe), I am not sure where to pick up and carry on with this blog...but I'll do my best to cover the highlights of this past year and how God has woven a beautiful tapestry along the way.

Almost immediately upon agreeing to take a family mission trip to Uganda (see earlier posts) in January of this year, my husband's small business was hit HARD with machinery repairs and total costs reaching high in the tens of thousands!  Still we knew, if Uganda was on our road... God would provide.  We rested in our faith and  understanding that it is the enemy that comes to steal, kill and destroy.  We were confident that Uganda was definitely in our future because of satan's relentless attacks!  We've walked with God long enough to know that satan leaves you alone if you are not a threat to the kingdom, so his feeble attempts (I laugh because on a monetary scale...they were huge, but on a Godly scale...minuscule!) would not stop us.  Aside from the roadblocks satan tried to throw up in Shawn's business, there were other delays in communication, in flight arrangements, and so on.  Over the past few months, neither Shawn nor I have had a burdened heart about  making sure everything was taken care of for our trip until it was down to the wire and we knew if passports were not secured...we would not be boarding a plane.  There was an unsettled feeling deep in my spirit, and as is common for me...I visited the closet floor!  (again, in earlier posts)  My cries to God were filled with a desire to do His will and not to take a step without Him.  The prayers continued for weeks for both Shawn and I...and then some things began to happen simultaneously.  I love THIS because all of these events have ALWAYS been on God's calendar...in His time.  I don't always understand, and I SURE can't see it when I'm in the midst...but I absolutely LOVE looking back and seeing how He was all over my daily walk!

Our church has been walking through a series called 'Jesus on Money', and a particular part of it resonated with Shawn and I both.  We are managers of God's money...we own nothing.  We need to make the BEST decisions as we manage what God has trusted us with. Hang tight...I'll come back to this.

God began leading me to scriptures that I knew were important to the Ugandan road.  One day earlier this month, He spoke plainly to me through 2 Thessalonians 1:11-12 which refers to and extraordinary day just ahead and God filling our good intentions and acts of faith with His own energy so that it all will amount to something.  Good intentions.  Hmmm...what were our intentions for this trip?  We began to re-evaluate.  From the very beginning, we wanted our own children to see a bigger picture.  We wanted their eyes to be open to what God has called us ALL to...to care for orphans and the poor.  Instead of experiencing another Americanized Christmas, we wanted them to understand how incredibly blessed they are just in having a family, let alone all of the fluff they are allowed to enjoy!  We knew our lives would be wrecked by what we would see in our travels, and we welcomed that.  We wanted wreckage.  I have blogged earlier about being able to sew for the babies in the orphanage there in Uganda.  There were SO many ways we wanted to help and we felt incredibly blessed that God had placed us on this road!  Then, a couple of weeks later, God led me to Numbers 22...and I knew the roadblocks that had come about over the last few months delaying our ticket purchase and our passports were God slowing us down.  (If you aren't familiar with this story, read it!  God basically slows Balaam down so that his will is not accomplished, but God's IS.) All of our desires for Uganda were noble, our reasons for travels were with good intentions.  But God wanted more.  A few days later we were invited to listen to sweet Dacia Newton and her incredible fiance Josh Hamby speak their hearts about their ministry in Uganda  (Arise Africa International), which is the same ministry we'd be working with during our trip.  Dacia said something that evening that turned weeks of confusion into clarity.  She spoke of a time when God was calling her to do more, to be more.  She was living a wonderful single life here in the states and loving it.  She wasn't seeking out living in a remote village across the globe, and her parents weren't booking her on flights to go on Mission Trips. That's when He spoke deep into my spirit, and the tears flowed.  It was God who would have to call our children out to be more for His kingdom.  I could not control events and trips to 3rd world countries in order to make the Holy Spirit move in them.  How silly I have been, even if my intentions were good.   God simply showed me that I was trying to play the role of the Holy Spirit in their lives through this trip.  If God wants to do something in their lives, He doesn't need me to monkey it up!  He can do whatever He wants and needs me to do NONE of it. (I am incredibly blessed that He has allowed us to be a part of the Ugandan road...He doesn't need our family, but He has graciously allowed us to be a part of what He is doing there).  He is so good.  Thank you Jesus.

Back to the 'Jesus on Money' series.   Manage the owner's money wisely.  Steward His money for His benefit and not for my benefit.  Manage the money based on eternity and not the here and now.  Dacia and Josh were sharing that they needed to raise $60,000  to support them as missionaries in Uganda for this next year, and we were planning a trip for 7 to 10 days that was based on good intentions but would take a LOT of money just  for the 5 of us to board the plane! We wouldn't be going to spread the gospel to people groups who were unknowing.  We were going to help in an orphanage, ran by a Christian ministry...so that OUR hearts would be wrecked. We wanted more of Him in our lives by going on this trip. Manage the money based on eternity, steward His money for His benefit.  It was clear what God was calling us to do.  As much as we wanted to go to Uganda, and we truly do want to help and we do want more for the people there and our hearts ARE burdened for them...we knew God was calling us to give what we would have spent on the airfare...which was all His money...so that Josh and Dacia could continue to work in that mission field for months!

 It isn't about us.  Even our absolute best, apart from Christ, is described in scripture as filthy rags. Our hearts were "pure" in our decision to go to Uganda, but God wanted more out of This Road.  His ways are higher, His ways are perfect.  We are still on This Road, although it looks a bit different than we thought it would, we travel on...trying our best to walk in the prints He leaves for us.

Don't Live For God

This past week I read something that stuck with me and has been penetrating my soul ever since. Actually, God started planting this seed of new revelation many weeks ago. How many times have we heard "live your life for God", "living for the Lord" or any other variation with the same meaning.  I'm just gonna throw this one out there...I don't want to live for God nor do I want my children to live for God.

Living for God.  What does that mean anyway?  What does a life look like if one is living for God?  It could look a lot of ways, from one who is serving in the mission field to one that serves weekly in a local church.  Before you get your feathers ruffled, allow me to continue, and I pray that my heart is understood.  These things are not bad and are certainly necessary for the kingdom of God to advance.  However, satan loves nothing more than for us to be so caught up in doing and "living for" that we never bow a knee and spend time in true relationship with God.  We can "live for God" all day long, but our prayers are where His power is unleashed in our life.  If we spend our time running around "living for God" in our own power, how much can we actually do for HIS kingdom.  On the other hand, if we live our lives WITH God our efforts will have exponentially more effect because chances are they will be orchestrated by Him and not us. We will accomplish so much more for Him if we are in the center of His plans than if we are running around doing what is good and asking Him to show up.

 I have, as I am sure many of you have, spent a great deal of time doing...until recently.  A few years ago, my time with God...alone and in prayer...became very precious to me.  Oh I was still "doing" continuously, but the time I spent in prayer had become priority in my life.  The past few months have been difficult for me because I feel that God has had me in a holding pattern with no clear path of what I need to "do".  There is nothing on a weekly basis that He is leading me to jump into...and I am a jump into type of person.  Give me a goal, especially for the Lord, and I am all about it.  Nothing.  Each day I was walking away from my prayer time empty handed as far as what direction I should take in service or how I should spend my time. More than once He revealed to me that He wanted my focus to be outside of the walls of the church...which is different for me.  I've been very active in the childrens ministry for years at the churches we've attended.  Now? No, I knew God was saying No. O.k., then Lord...where?  I HAVE to serve somewhere, don't I? (I've reflected on our clear call to Uganda this Christmas...this is HUGE, but there are several months before we actually get to "DO" that.)   So what do I do in the meantime?

Finally, through my prayer time, I began hearing him speak...clearly.  Family. During this season of my life, He wants my focus on my family.  They need my attention, my love, and my devotion...unlittered with the stresses of "doing" many other good things...and God has made this clear to me.   Would I have known this if I had been busy "living for God" as opposed to living WITH God, in prayer, seeking where He wanted me?  Probably not.  I shared how God was working in my heart with my husband, and he stopped me before I could finish.  He knew where I was going with my explanation because he had prayed a similar prayer and the answer he received...family.  Now, I cannot even explain to you how I LOVE when God speaks clearly...but when He speaks the same word over my husband and I both...I can't lift my hands high enough to praise him! Maybe this current directive is for my benefit, or perhaps one or all of them need me more than ever before.  Whatever the reasoning, I can rest assured in the fact that His timing in calling me to not "do" is perfect because He is capable of nothing less.  

We serve a God who created us for relationship with Him.  He wants to speak to us, and He desires for us to speak to Him. I want to live my life WITH Christ and not for Him, and I am teaching my children to do the same.  There is nothing that we can do FOR Christ that He cannot do for himself.  Teaching my kids to "live for" Christ is based on them and what they can do. While there will definitely be seasons of "doing", my desire is that they recognize God's voice.   I want them to grow up in a committed relationship WITH Christ, spending time everyday in prayer with Him and in turn unleashing His power in their own lives. I want them to know that their choice of service area is exactly where God is calling them because they are seeking Him daily and their ears are bent towards His voice.  I want them to see God at work, and hear His invitation to join Him instead of it being the other way around. I want them to live their lives WITH God and not for Him.

Leagan's Laundry Across the Globe

When our oldest daughter, Leagan (lay' gun) was a year old, I began searching for unique clothing that captured the essence of being a little girl.  I took to the internet, specifically ebay.  There were some very talented seamstresses with some very high price tags on their creations!  Finally, one day, I took the plunge and ordered a sweet little chenille dress and bloomers only to open the package and think, "I can TOTALLY make this myself!!!".  Upon opening the package my nose was overcome with the smell I'd smelled many times.  I'm not even sure what it is, but my mind raced back to my childhood home and my mom's sewing room.  Watching her thread the bobbin, and then thread the needle...right down to the hum of the machine.  It was all so vivid to me.  Now, I'd never used a machine but I was sure I could do this!  I raced to Wal-Mart to buy my very first sewing machine.  It was very basic, but that was certainly all that I needed.  I spread out some paper sacks from the local grocery store, did some research via the internet, measured a few of my baby's outfits and within minutes had a pattern to create off of.  I wish I would have taken a picture of my first outfit.  I am sure I would laugh now, but then...it was a dream!  Here are some of my favorites that I made in the years to follow.

When I initially began sewing, I did it for Leagan.  However, we were constantly stopped to ask where we found her outfits and so after little consideration and even a smaller amount of prayer...Leagan's Laundry was born in 2002. I decided as a stay at home mom it would be a great supplemental income for our little family! It found it's way into an upscale boutique here in town and was in the beginning of negotiations for another.  I was facing the downside to running a one man show, buying fabric at retail and not wholesale, more demand and less time to do it all since the Lord had added another beautiful daughter to our family among other challenges.  In the summer of 2005, I decided to pursue another at home career path that took me away from sewing except for my own girls for several years...until they were too old to want to wear the cutesy things their mommy made!  I dabbled in Leagan's Laundry a couple of years ago and it spread to other cities and states, not really with a purpose...just simply because I love to create the outfits. 

 Now...I am  relaunching the line for a purpose.  If you are familiar with my blog, you already know that my family is traveling to Uganda in December to help a sweet friend there at the orphanage in which she works.  Since I am still a stay at home mom, I feel like this is my way to help raise money for our trip and so the profits from every outfit I make will go towards our Uganda fund.  (I previously made donations to Breedlove, but that will no longer be the case...all of the profit will now go to either our travel expenses or to the orphanage itself.)

I spent yesterday reflecting how when I started Leagan's Laundry I wanted it to go nationwide, even contemplated sending some to hollywood to get the stars on board.  (BIG vision for this little line!)  Although I loved creating the dresses and outfits, I was mainly concerned with what kind of financial gain would accompany the clothing.  God has brought me full circle, and will be outdoing my goal of nationwide.  Through him, little girls in Uganda will be wearing Leagan's Laundry in December.  Not because they are from families who could afford it, but because they have a God who is a father to the fatherless...a God who stirred a heart set on banking some cash with the talent HE gave and shook that heart over the course of YEARS until it cried out for the orphans and wept for those who do not have a mommy to make clothes for them.  Incredible to see how Leagan's Laundry was also a part of This Road even before I knew it existed.  Thank you Jesus.

From Injured to Abundant

Late last summer I began having severe heel pain.  Basically, the condition has gotten worse over the course of the past 8 months.  I struggled through my workouts in a fair amount of pain and thought many times my foot would feel better if it would just snap.  I apparently have plantar fasciitis, you know...the condition that you see ads for in Skymall?  Yip...have it.  The plantar fascia is the thick connective tissue that supports the arch on the bottom of the foot.  Because it has stayed pulled so tight, as if the pain from the condition was not bad enough...a spur has formed.  It is almost unbearable in the mornings when I get out of bed but I have been determined to get back into the gym pain or not.  Despite my focus on presence in the gym, I have only been able to give about 50% effort due to the pain.  My mental focus while there has also been lacking because of the pain. All in all, I usually walked out of the gym angry and disappointed.  This is going somewhere I assure you.

A little over a week ago, my husband suggested I use the muscle stimulator that we have.  Since he is a body competitor, he has to lift massive weights and therefore has suffered several injuries adding to our arsenal of rehab tools. Desperate for relief, I tried the little gadget.  To my surprise, the next morning at the gym my foot did not hurt..well it did a little, but compared to previous days I was basically pain free.  My mind was more focused and I was excited to feel the burn in my lungs because I was able to go full force.  I had to stop a few times, which was nothing new...only this time I was stopping because of my intensity level and not due to pain.  Then God revealed something to me deep in my spirit.

Due to my injury, I was only able to perform minimally during my workouts.  My mind would become overwhelmed with the pain, then the anger set in because I felt like I was wasting my time, and my body simply struggled to get through the workout. My injury was holding me back.  If you've read my blog in the last month, you know that I have also been struggling with a dependency on Lexapro.  I took the meds for years because I was injured...deep within...in different ways.  As of January I have leaned on Christ and not taken the drug and I have finally reached days where I see and feel healing in Him.  Scripture states in John 10:10 that Jesus came so that we would have life...and that we would have ABUNDANT life.  Unpacking what exactly abundant life means could take a while, but I am just going to be very frank.  In most cases...it has NOTHING to do with finances even though the verse has been misused in many cases to support a drive for obtaining wealth. 

 No, my friends, the abundant life is more than riches.  We have EVERYTHING we need in Christ. He is our healer, our protector, our Prince of Peace, our counselor, our Deliverer (thank you Jesus), our portion...He is the Great I Am.  Our Abundance. He is the beginning and the end...satan knows this and you better believe that he will fight for you to stay injured.  Although John 10:10 speaks of abundant life, it also speaks of the enemy and his desire to steal, kill, and destroy.  Living injured, I was not performing optimally in Christ.  Just like my workouts, I was hindered...focused on the pain and held back.  The drug helped to hide the injuries, but they were there. Now, they are no longer demanding my energy.  Christ has taken His rightful place and ushered me into healing and life abundant.  I see it, I feel it...I am living it. Christ has more planned for me, but whatever it is I needed healing first. I could not do it injured and only 50%. He wants my lungs to burn with abundance, and he wants all of me.  This road just keeps getting better!!  

My Golden Calf

If you have followed my blog for any length of time, traveling way back when I first started it, you know that I went through a lengthy description of seeing Jesus in the midst of financial and marital struggles.  I wrote the entries AFTER I had survived the season, so it was drenched in understanding and completion.  I feel like I am being led to share my current struggle, and to swallow some pride as I do so. O.k. ... maybe a LOT of pride.

I am praying for two different friends right now who are struggling through addiction.  While I love both of these girls dearly, one of them has been a lifelong friend and I have seen her fight and struggle her entire adult life with this thorn.  I realized a few weeks ago, that I myself was in bondage and while I am shelling out advice such as "be strong", "you can do this", "pray that God will change your thought process", and so on...I was not taking my own advice and was really being a hypocrite if you get right down to the nitty gritty.

Slavery comes disguised in many different packages and I assure you satan has carefully wrapped each and every one of them and finished them off with a bow in our favorite colors.  Some of the obvious ones that are more frowned upon by society is alcoholism and drug addiction, pornography, homosexuality, thievery, are just to name a few.  But are these any worse than someone who cannot give up smoking?  What about the man who turns to food as his comfort or the woman who shops to cover a deep seeded depression.  What about the mom who was put on medication for postpartum depression and has never gotten off for fear of the way she really feels?

I am that mom.  Let's back it up a bit and let yet another skeleton slide from the bottom of my closet.  During my early 20's I found myself in a full blown struggle with an eating disorder...one that I was nearly hospitalized for...one that even today tries to rear it's ugly head but thanks to the grace of God I am no longer a captive of the disease.  That is another blog entry, or complete blog, all in itself.  I share this because I have long struggled with who I am, what others think of me, low self-worth and almost self hatred at times.  Stress doesn't fair well on top of these other issues.  Fast forward to the birth of my second "baby" almost 10 years ago.  I suffered pretty severe postpartum depression, and was put on the lowest possible dosage of Lexapro.  Because the medicine made me feel better than I had felt in YEARS, I continued to take it until we decided to have another baby 3 years later.  During that pregnancy my oldest sister passed away and all of the marriage and financial stress I referred to in the Mostly Fingerprints series was actively battering my life.  So, after the birth my doctor once again put me on the drug...and I have taken it ever since.  Well, up until a couple of months ago.

A couple of months ago.  My pastor and leader of our home group shared with us that we would be reading and discussing the book Radical Together.  The book suggests "putting everything out on the table" and determining what can be done away with in order to better serve him and live out his commands for us.  Whether that was the way we were spending our time, our money, our thoughts...where could we make changes?  Every month I relinquished $160 for the bottle of my golden calf.  Let's be honest...it might of well had been.  At the time, I was being radical in order to free up the money to be better spent and was honestly thinking naively that I would just lean on Jesus and it would all be o.k.  Honestly, I guess I didn't give it a ton of thought.  But then, a few days later...it hit me.  I had turned to that bottle of pills everyday for YEARS and depended upon it's contents in order to keep myself sane and avoid feeling all of the things I hated to feel.  I had made that tiny little, low dose morsel of pharmaceutical a god in my life.  OUCH!  It was no different than either of my friends turning to their addictions to escape their feelings.  I was no different, my vice was simply better accepted by society and one that was easily hidden.

So I am in the throws of the battle.  Satan is determined to scream his lies at me...I'll never feel good unless I take the medicine again, this withdrawal will never end, this isn't fair to my kids to see their mom just surviving, blah blah blah.  I am not going to sugar coat this...it stinks!  I have wanted to refill that prescription SO many days, but PRAISE GOD I have a husband who supports me and I have been blessed way beyond I deserve with him.  I also have a God who is bigger than my need for a fix, a God who loves me fiercely and wants my freedom in Him and is waiting patiently to release me into that freedom.  But first, I must suffer so that I know exactly what He is freeing me from because only then will I be truly grateful.  And maybe someday I will be worthy of helping another to walk through letting go of their addiction, whatever that may look like...because I, too, have traveled This Road.

How do you know?

Last night, as we do every night, Shawn and I sat down with the kids and we all shared the best thing that happened to us during the day.  Then, just as every other night, we progressed onto prayers...but last night was different.  Instead of drawing sticks from the prayer pail to help the kids with ideas of who to pray for, we prayed over a box of shoes that Santa brought as requested by Addie Claire.  We prayed over a box of books that Leagan suggested her friends bring to her party last year in lieu of birthday gifts for her.  These special items are leaving for Uganda in a few days with our precious friend Dacia, and so we wanted to take time to ask God to bless the children who wear the shoes and read the books and prepare our hearts to meet these very children in just a few months!

After we prayed, Leagan and Addie Claire almost instantly and simultaneously expressed fear and doubt.

"How do you know God wants us to go?"
"I'm scared...that's a long way to fly on a plane."
"I got sick the last time I flew on a plane."
"Will there be spiders?"
"But what if we don't like the food there?"
"What if bugs crawl on us when we sleep?"

God immediately filled my mouth with scripture, "I did not give you a spirit of fear" and I went on to explain their doubt is coming from satan.  He doesn't want us to go and be used by God.  He would rather we doubt and fear ourselves right out of the trip...he would like nothing more than just that.  He is master of holding us back...only if we ALLOW him to.

Again, "But how do you know God wants us to go?".  These questions from my babies always cause pause.  Not because I don't have the answer necessarily, because in this case I do...I just want them to feel as confident as I do in the way that God speaks to us.  I want Him to speak to them through scripture and through prayer.  I want them to see for themselves His love and how He cares about these very feelings they are having.

The only way I could respond was, "I know because of scriptures God has led me to, I know because of Dacia and her prayers, I know because of my own prayers and the peace that God is giving me."  They seemed ok with the answer, and then Addie Claire began talking through a stream of tears that almost interrupted her speech.

"I am scared that we will make them feel bad because we have nice clothes and nice shoes and we have a family."  Oh that Addie Claire.  Her heart is as good as gold and she is THE most caring and intuitive child I have ever known.  She keeps me on my toes and on my knees because I have to be at the top of my Christian walk in order to answer her questions and lead her.  Sometimes, often times...she is the teacher in my journey.  She, in her carefree way, keeps me grounded.  She doesn't always come home with the highest scores on state mandated tests, she consistently needs to be encouraged to focus, she lives among chaos in her room and is content there, she is happiest when singing at the top of her lungs, her mind wanders and her heart lingers with those who are hurting and in need of Christ.  (now I am wiping away my own stream of tears)

After I cried with her and reassured her that we were going to do our best to be sensitive to their feelings and not wear our fancy clothes, the kids went off to bed.  It was at that moment that I remembered we had forgotten part of our nightly time together...reading the daily devotional in Jesus Calling for kids. I opened the page and this was waiting for me...waiting from even a time before I was born, before even the book was written.  God knew.  He showed up.  So I was once again overcome with tears, this time of joy, as I read...

There it was...God speaking to them!  Just as I so desired and wanted.  It wasn't me quoting scripture or sharing what I had found through prayer...it was HIM speaking to THEM!  Now...the funny thing is, I didn't realize until after I had read the days devotional that I was actually reading for the 14th and not the 13th, but God knew I would look on this very page and so that is where His love for my kids was written...for them to hear on this very day, to calm their fears and remind them that He loves them and is in control of their destiny.  He not only wants us to be in Uganda, but he will be holding our hands!  My heart is so full, not only because He has spoken yet again into my life...but because He has shown up in a very obvious way for me as a parent and for my babies. I. LOVE. HIM.

This morning, as I sat quietly in prayer asking God only for what He has for me today...nothing more, nothing less...I opened my bible.  Psalm 91...again the very God that wakes the sun each morning and ushers in every season, the very God that shuts mouths of lions and raised the lame to walk again, the very God that hung on a cross clothed in MY sin and defeated death by rising 3 days later...He has shown love again with another reminder that He is protecting my family and I have every confidence that we will arrive safely in Uganda and return home unscathed but with a heart that is crushed, broken and rearranged in a beautiful and magnificent way that only the Father of the Fatherless could orchestrate.

I can't wait to show the girls when they get home from school!

 Further down in the scripture, in verses 11& 12 His words say, "For he will order his angels to protect you wherever you go.  They will hold you up with their hands so you won't even hurt your foot on a stone.".  Even that far away on a plane in a place where we might not like the food and bugs may crawl on us.  He is there, He loves us, and He is protecting THIS road.  

How do I know?  Because the bible tells me so. Thank you Jesus.

Esther

God's timing is always perfect, and always on time.  I know this, and was reminded of it a week or so ago.

We sponsor four children in Uganda.  $35 for one child, every month, pays for their clothing, food, education and housing.  It is probably just about the best way we have spent $35 in all of our lives!  Just after Christmas, we had received letters from the kids in Uganda as well as copies of their report cards.  I was in a rush when I opened the mail, sat it aside on the counter top... but fully planned to return to it later that day.  That never happened.  In a strange turn of events, I actually forgot about them altogether for a few weeks.  This is SO not like me, I LOVE things like this and I love the implications such mail always has on my life.  Nevertheless...they were forgotten.  Important little morsel...and I will return to the letters in a bit.

A couple of weeks ago, we had Addie Claire and Leagan's rooms repainted.  Leagan's room was very elaborate and VERY difficult to cover up.  Addie Claire's was very tranquil, just light pink.  (Odd, because if their personalities were reflected in their wall paint, they would've had to swap rooms!)

As awesome as this room was, and I LOVED the scriptures so bold in her room, Leagan was ready for a change.  Shawn and I both discussed and agreed upon simply painting their rooms a neutral color to where it wasn't such a big deal when they decided they wanted to change bedding.  We would decorate the walls with pictures, framed art...something other than having the decor PAINTED onto their walls.  Both of the girls were wanting their walls painted a color with possibly designs, but we have been very convicted lately of our spending habits as well as what our kids are learning about money through us.  So...neutral it would be.

Funny...although I told them their rooms were just going to be painted a neutral color, they still came home thinking that they would find the walls to their fortress covered with something other than a bland color of paint.  They were both visibly disappointed, even though they knew in their spirits that was a selfish reaction...and so they were able to conceal almost all of the setback their great anticipation of colorful beauty was suffering.   

Now...re-enter my convictions of being good stewards of our money and raising children who are appreciative of what God has provided.  Their reaction and my convictions SO did not mesh.  My heart was wounded, and I (being me) didn't hide my disappointment well.   I think something like this spewed from my mouth, "if you have _______ in your piggy bank then you are welcome to paint the walls any way you'd like!  It cost _____ much to have the last paint job covered...COVERED. (those beautiful scriptures and elaborate zebra stripes were not covered with just a swipe of paint, and the black frame for the mirror... that was CAULKED on... did some damage to the sheetrock that had to be fixed. sigh.)  Otherwise, I suggest you be thankful that you no longer have the zebra and polka dots that clash with your new bedding!"  

After my vomiting of emotions, I sat down to read the letters for the sweet kids in Uganda.  The girls were both sitting on the couch in the living room with me, because as the good Lord would have it...the paint in their rooms was still drying.  So, they wanted me to read them aloud...and they were beautiful.  Even though the English was broken, their hearts were pure and it didn't take long for tears to stream. Sweet Esther wrote,  "Am also glad to get a pen and a book to write for you this letter appreciating you for what you have provided for me...".  Esther...the name itself draws an undeniable parallel to the biblical woman who was used by God to save the Jews from the despicable plans of Haman. Orphans.  Both our Esther and the Esther of the bible were orphans.  And just as Esther was used by God in a mighty way, half a world away...God has used another Esther in a life altering moment for the Wilsons.

As we set there crying, what a beautiful moment it was.  I knew immediately why God had saved those letters for this perfect time.  While my babies are worried about the silly paint in their rooms, this precious soul is appreciative that she has a pen and a book to be able to write to us.  Perspective.  Not only was I so thankful for God's timing, but how incredible that He has shown up in such a mighty way to help me parent and teach my kids His ways.  I am praying that God helps me to convey to Esther just how important her letter was to my family, the impact it had, and the way that she was used by a mighty God who is a father to the fatherless.

Thank you Jesus that you can still use an orphan named Esther.  Thank you Jesus that you love my family enough to allow us to know Esther.  Thank you Jesus for helping me to parent my gifts in your ways.  Thank you.

Wrecked or Totaled?

So, I'll have to admit that I was a bit anxious about sharing Dacia's vision of a family visiting Uganda for Christmas with Shawn, even though I knew that she might as well have said, "my vision is that the Wilson family come to Uganda for Christmas".  Even better, God might as well have interjected in a booming voice..."I'm sending the Wilsons".  Anxious or not, I was excited at the possibility of God using our family this way.  Shawn's response?  Glad you asked.

"That will be all we do for Christmas then".  Really?  Like REALLY?  You aren't going to come up with a millions reasons why you can't leave your business for that long because if you aren't there it isn't making money?  (I will have to interject that he did insist that he will be packing heat, so God still has a number to do on him as far as Divine safety in following THIS road.)

So there you have it...just like that.  THIS road is leading to Uganda...but I am certain that THIS road will not end in Uganda.  We asked the kids last week to pray with us about this opportunity because we want to be sure that we are sure this is God's plan for us and we want the kids to be a part of praying for THIS road.  Shawn said something very profound that night.  

"We are going to minister to them, but I have a feeling we will be the ones ministered to."  

Wrecked.  That's what I am thinking.  Not ministered to, but smooth wrecked and as Dacia put it, the wreckage will be beautiful!

There are so many scriptures and conversations that have confirmed THIS road, and maybe I will share some of them later, but I will leave you with where God has led me to again today.  You will not be surprised if you've read my last post.  I really need to buy marshmallows because this fire is not going out and I have a feeling that the tent will stay pitched a while!

Again, with great anticipation and praying God would show me what He has for me THIS day my bible falls open to Isaiah 6...shocking, I know.  I read, and then followed the same procedure that I am SO fond of.  

2 Samuel 7: 18-21...David is praying after Nathan shares his vision the God gave to him which includes the plans that God has for David and his descendants.  The entire chapter is about God's covenant promise to David.

Specifically in verses 18-21 David is praying who am I and what is my family that you have brought me to this place in life?  But that's nothing to what's coming, for you've also spoken of my family far into the future and given me a glimpse.  What can I say?  You know me, just as I am.  You've done all of this not because of who I am but because of who you are...and you've let me in on it.  Now, obviously the context of this scripture is referring to the lineage of Christ...but it was also confirmation through God's whispers once again.  He is using my family, regardless of who we are and the messes we make of our lives, not because of us...but because of who HE is.  And when I read "and have made them known to your servant", the tears welled.  God could do ANYTHING He wants, with our without us...but He has graciously allowed us to be a part...He's let us in on it.  Wow.  Just wow.  I am humbled, overwhelmed, but most of all excited and feeling the love.

My third turn with scripture today, as if I needed anything else, was nothing other than Luke 5.  Today, however, the exact verses were 27-32.  While it included Christ asking who needs a doctor, the sick or the healthy...something else grabbed me.  "Later, as Jesus left the town, he saw a tax collector named Levi sitting at his tax collector's booth. 'Follow me and be my disciple', Jesus said to him.  So Levi got up, left everything, and followed him." (27-28)  

"Left everything".  What does this mean?  What is God saying to me?  What are His intentions with my family?  Surely He is not calling us to leave everything!  That only happened in scripture, many many years ago, right?  My heart and spirit is burdened...why did those two words stand out?  I'm wondering if wrecked was a strong enough word...maybe totaled would have been more appropriate.

And still my prayer is, "God wreck me.  This world is about so much more than what we see.  Break my heart for what breaks yours and carry my feet there. Prepare us Lord for THIS road and where you are leading and supply us with your peace as we journey.  Guard our hearts Lord, and protect us from the enemy as we anticipate his full on attacks in an attempt to thwart your plans.  You are bigger, you are stronger.  Keep our eyes focused on you Lord.  Amen"  

Wrecked

I guess I have known for a while, on some level, that THIS road was on our map of travels.  While I would like to blame it on Dacia, I know even SHE is not good enough to take over God's plans for us and is only an instrument that He is using.  (A very beautiful instrument I might add!)  Her blog can be found at www.thisismyjoy.org. 

THIS road...what in the world does that mean you ask? Is it a physical location you can find on a map? I am not really sure, but I know it looks different than the roads we have been down.  Although I am not sure where it will lead and what the end will look like, I am sure of this...I am about to be wrecked.  How do I know?  Because I have prayed for exactly that.  Silly me.

One of my favorite times during the day is my quiet time with God.  I go to Him through prayer and scripture with GREAT anticipation of what He will show to me.  I record each day the scriptures that He leads me to, as well as what He speaks to me through the scriptures and through my time of being silent before Him and listening for His whispers. While I can look back over the past few years and see the beginnings of THIS road, it has never been more apparent  than in the past couple of months.  

"Then I heard the Lord asking, 'Whom shall I send as a messenger to this people? Who will go for us?'  I said, 'Here I am.  Send me.' "  Isaiah 6: 8  

The Wreck begins. 

(or at least this is where I am becoming aware of the skid!)

Now, I can't say that on January 10th when God had me camp in Isaiah 6 that I understood why.  I remember texting Shawn and asking him about a song that was written based on these verses.  It is wonderful imagery of mighty seraphim covering their faces in God's presence, singing "holy, holy, holy" with voices that shake the Temple to it's foundation.  Isaiah begins to "freak out" not only because he has seen the King, but because he is a sinful man with filthy lips and filthy companions.  One of the seraphim, which literally means "burning ones" touches Isaiah's lips with coal and tells him his guilt is removed and his sins are forgiven.  Then the Lord asks who will go for him, and Isaiah responds that he will and asks the Lord to send him.  Hmmm...nice little story.

In the days to come my campsite would be in Luke 5, primarily in verses 31-32.  "Jesus answered them, 'Healthy people don't need a doctor--sick people do.  I have come to call not those who think they are righteous, but those who know they are sinners and need to repent."  When I say campsite, I mean build a fire and pitch a tent because you are staying there.  I shared with Shawn that I feel like God is wanting to use me outside of the church.  Let me interject here...I LOVE volunteering in my church and believe strongly that without volunteers Sunday worship would be difficult.  I mean, who would keep our kids among many other things?!?! There is definitely a need and a place for volunteers and I cannot see myself not involved in some area of my church!  I have directed preschool, coordinated childrens events, cleaned, prepared, taught...and I love it all.  I should have known this was coming, though.  I have not had clarity from God as to where I am to serve right now.  (If there is one thing you should know, in case this is your first interaction with me...I will pray beyond pray through decisions so that I know that I know that I KNOW I am doing what God wants me to do.)  Currently serving as a greeter, I know there are needs in other areas I would have previously jumped into...but this time I have been held back, divinely.  It has frustrated me a bit, and there have been a couple of times I've almost surrendered to a post only to feel the Holy Spirit's reigns pulling me back. 

 And so I continued to seek God, and was beginning to hear His voice with clarity. (I cannot explain to you how much I love this!)  I need you outside of your church.  I need you for the sick and the unchurched.  I need you to be involved with people who cannot or will not darken the doors of your church.  There were other scriptures that followed, and with each one His voice became louder.  Then, Isaiah 6:8 returns. 

In the meantime, I was lunching with sweet Dacia.  Her furlow from Uganda is quickly coming to an end and between birthdays and Santa my girls have collected books and shoes for the kiddos there.  The first lunch we had, Dacia shared her vision of a family coming to Uganda to share Christmas with the orphans.  

The Wreck will be continued soon...

Out of Focus

Today it seems that so many things have caught up to me that I've tried to sweep under the rug or pretend they simply are not happening. My thoughts are consumed with kids who seem to be bent towards disobedience or partial obedience...but on their time scale. The 3-year-old whiney syndrome has hit our house in full force, and the frustration from it seems to deplete my energy and emotions on many days. The housework never seems to be complete, especially during these summer months. And speaking of summer months, the heat is ridiculous and there is no rain in sight to relieve us of this drought. There is never time for me...just me. I'm telling you, I have been in an awful place this morning and perhaps you have found yourself there at one time or another. Instead of focusing on my blessings, my flesh this morning definitely got the best of me. The best of me...what is that anyway? I feel like I have totally lost myself in marriage, in motherhood, in life.

Something else that has been ever present and hanging around me like a dark cloud is the untimely death of a friend, and husband to an even closer friend. The why's, the anger, the sadness...it has all been there circulating around me. Without going into detail, it has shaken my faith more than anything in the past few years. Shaken, but not stolen.

While my mind was running rampant with selfish thoughts about my own feelings and how tired I am of this or how sick I am of that...I made a run to the donut store for the kids. The car was quiet and it was just me and the Lord and you can bet your bottom dollar that He was getting an ear full. As I pulled back into the garage, a song that I have not heard in many years...but can sing it by heart (at least the old Baptist hymnal version) ...began streaming through my mind. THANK YOU JESUS FOR THE REMINDER. I was immediately calm, repenting of my self-centeredness and claiming a new perspective for the day.

"Turn your eyes upon Jesus

look full in his wonderful face

and the things of this world will go strangely dim

in the light of His fullness and grace."

I hope that I have totally lost me. I don't want me. I want Jesus. This world is not about me, it is about Jesus and reaching others for eternity. The sweet blessings, that are all so quiet at the moment, may be a drain on my strength and sanity...but God's word promises me restoration and He has never let me down. They are my ministry during this season. And their obedience? How many times has God had to wrangle my disobedient nature around so that He can sit down and talk with me? The housework...can I be any more blessed? I have a beautiful home that is 100% of God and his provision. Who am I to grumble about whether I can keep it clean or not. It is the same home that shelters us from the heat that I am fussing about. One that I am still grappling with but trust God to heal is the hurt and sorrow over death. I'm not sure I will ever understand this side of heaven, but keeping my eyes on Jesus I will find peace and comfort...and I know one day my understanding will be in full. Scripture also promises this! I turned my eyes upon Jesus, and the all of the things that were bogging me down...the things of this world... grew dim.

So...in my heart there is a song and on my face there is a smile. Thank you Jesus for your precious reminder. Thank your for your sacrifice so that I can come directly to you with "my life" and you can remind me that it is not my own. I gave it to you.

God's terms

So, in light of my last post...I thought I would update you on my conversations with God! It really is crazy how things happen, and I LOVE it when my God lets me know He is completely aware of my life and the goings on in Sonya Land. Even if it isn't the answer I always want, it is nice to know that He who holds my entire life in His hand is aware and hasn't delegated the task of overseeing daily activities to someone else!

On Thursday night, as I sat in my closet...yes, once again...he led my hands to John 15:18-20. A paraphrase of the verses would be this...

Sonya, I picked you to live on MY terms and so the world will hate you. They hated me, they will certainly hate you.

Anytime I am led to a scripture where God is reminding me that HE CHOSE ME...I am immediately at peace. He knows what is going on around me, and He is continuing to let me know that I am doing what He has asked and to hang in there. He also led me to...

Psalm 18:30...Everyone who runs toward God makes it. (THANK YOU SWEET JESUS! I am running!!!)

Now, He also led me to Job 17: 1-2. 'My spirit is broken and mockers close in on me' is basically what the two scriptures say. If you haven't read the book of Job lately...please do. If Job made it, then surely I will! Thank you Jesus for reminding me that others have felt as I do...and they made it!

If you are finding yourself questioning right about now why in the world I am so at peace with my Jesus based on the suffering described in the above scriptures...this is why. We ALL will suffer on this earth, this I am certain that nobody can deny. Whether it is financial struggles, death of loved ones, divorce, abuse, health issues, or just simply a feeling of unhappiness...EVERYONE battles something. I choose to suffer for Christ, because HE suffered for me. Because I choose Christ, my suffering will end COMPLETELY one day when I am made whole in heaven. This is his promise. He also promises to give me strength and help me to rise on the wings of eagles as I wait upon Him. Therefore, I can handle life much better WITH Him than without Him.

It is also clear in scripture that if I do not choose Christ, there is no other alternative besides Hell. If I have to survive hell on earth from time to time in order to live an eternity of happiness in heaven...I will take that. My prize is waiting for me because of one moment when I asked Jesus to come into my heart, forgive my sins, and lead the way for me. A single moment of my entire life means an eternity of peaceful happiness. Are the trials of this life a fair trade? Absolutely!

A Rib Apart

One of my friends just recently posted something on facebook..."Are we willing to be lonely to stand for what we believe in". Her post was SO real to me for many reasons, and how even among believers in Christ we can sometimes still feel lonely. Follow closely on this one...

For the past couple of days, I have had a rib out of place. Just in case you didn't know this, the 11th and 12th ribs are known as floating ribs as they do not have an anterior connection to the sternum. I have had one out of place and causing pain in my shoulder before, but the one currently keeping me down is in my back. The chiropractor could feel it yesterday by touching my back, and it was all I could do to make it out of his office and to my car before I was reduced to tears! If I move...it hurts. If I breathe...it hurts. As I lay in bed last night, tears rolling and unable to exist without pain...I understood something deep in my soul. Hopefully, you are still with me.

You see, I have been mad at God for a bit now. He has put me in situations and asked me to do things that very definitely set me apart and made me the center of gossip circles. He has put me in the line of fire by calling me to be obedient and follow His direction. He has placed me in the middle of conversations or situations... that I did NOT want to be in... repeatedly over the past year, then placed the Holy Spirit heavy upon me to convict me into action based on what I was hearing or seeing. I have a very dear friend, and gracious knows she is probably sick of me whining to her about "what God has done or shown me now". She helps me to pray through the situation and we discuss scripture that applies and what God may be telling me. (I love this friendship because I know we can talk about life without it being a gossip session, but instead a time of filtering life through the Word of God!) I have shared through tears with her over the past year my frustrations of what God has allowed me to be a part of as well as what I felt like God was telling me to do. She of all people knows how much I have resisted God's calling this past year. She, and my closet.

If the carpet in my closet could talk, it would tell you that over the past couple of months it has been stained with my tears of anger and frustration with God, has felt the tension of my body as I fall in prayer over God's leading me down difficult paths...but one thing it could not deny is the frequency with which we meet! Plain and simple...I have been very angry that God has called me to do some things on His behalf. I am reminded of Jonah, who did exactly what God asked...after trying to avoid and run from God...but was not happy about it. That has been me, call me Jonah. I don't understand God's ways, and I SURE don't understand why He has had me in some situations that He has. HOWEVER, I was reminded last night from where I came. A rib. "Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man" it states in Genesis 2:22. The same man that earlier in the same chapter of Genesis he "formed from the dust of the ground" and "breathed the breath of life" into.

A rib and dirt...that was my humble beginnings. Who am I to question God or become angry when following Him doesn't turn out the way I'd like? Jesus hung on the cross, cloaked in MY sin...I think putting myself in an uncomfortable situation or two based on His call is the least of which I can do for my King. Sometimes following Christ alienates us, but I was created by Him and for His purpose alone. I believe in Christ, as well as His purpose and plan and His word tells me that He chose me. I'm sure my closet hasn't seen the last of my angry fits, and my friend will be getting more phone calls...but God has reminded me who is in charge, and I'll take the lonliness of obedience over fitting in comfortably. I love my God THAT much!

Stopping for the Bowl

Have you ever had a revelation so clear it was almost as if it hit you in the face? I have often times wondered how in the world the Israelites could have been so whiney throughout their pilgrimage out of Egypt. For gracious sake, there was manna falling from the sky every day!! If the daily provision of raining food was not enough there is always the trek through the miraculous split of water on DRY ground. Would I have still complained...undoubtedly so. How do I know? Well, I just do. The people of old are very similar to me as much as I'd like to deny it from time to time. For example, although it has nothing to do with complaining or not trusting God, it definitely shows the similarity between my humanness and that of the characters of the bible. For example, take this evening.

The kids were outside merrily jumping on the trampoline which is always a peaceful time of the evening for me. The kids are happy, the house is quiet for a bit, and it is a time when I can get just a few things done. My sewing machine has sat abandoned this week due to busyness with the end of school approaching. Along side my machine is the cutest little dress I am dying to finish but have needed bias tape to finish off the creation. Although the act itself will take all of about 5 minutes, I just haven't had time to get to the store to buy the tape...much less sew it on! Well, today was the day that I found time to visit the fabric store and buy the much needed finishing touch. To top off the fact that today was the day I had the bias tape in my hot little hand...there was this glorious time set aside when my sewing machine could hum happily as the creation reached maturation. Finally, I thought. Tonight is THE perfect time to finish off the dress. It will just take a minute and it will finally be done! So I sat down to the machine, and as I did...the Holy Spirit began to speak. It was NOT time for me to sew, but instead it was time for me to open my bible and spend time with God. WHAT? Was there not a realization in the holy realm that this has been my only chance all week to finally close the book on this dress? Because I cannot stand the conviction of the Holy Spirit, I promptly turned my machine off, stood up, and made my way through the kitchen. As I passed the dishes that were sat out to dry earlier today, I became Saul.

If you aren't familiar with the story of Saul, King Agag, and God's instructions...let me catch you up a bit. In the old testament book of 1 Samuel, you'll find Saul being told by Samuel what the Lord commands of him in chapter 15. "Now go and completely destroy the entire Amalekite nation-men, women, children, babies, cattle, sheep, goats, camels, and donkeys." Saul did indeed go in with his army and kill and destroy, but he stopped along the way to capture King Agag and snag a few animals for a sacrifice. Because of this disobedience, the Lord rejected Saul as king. You may be wondering how in the world did I become Saul among a sewing machine, some dishes, and my bible. Let me tell you.

I said I promptly turned my machine off, just as Saul obeyed by heading off into battle. AND...just as Saul made a few pitstops, as I passed the dishes that were on the bar...I did it. I fell into the trap of disobedience. My flesh wanted to get something done so badly during this 'perfect time for getting things done', that I grabbed the big yellow piece of plastic known as the popcorn bowl and headed to the cabinet with it. As soon as I touched it, the holy spirit was heavy upon me. "You were told to spend time in the word" could have been heard three blocks away, I just know it! I continued toward the cabinet since it was on my way out of the kitchen, put the bowl up, and THEN headed to my bible in my room...where I sat thinking of the disobedience and how easily it must have been for Saul in that moment. He figured they'd be happy to have King Agag as a prisoner of war, and of course they would need animals for the offering. What Saul learned the hard way was that when God speaks, he requires our FULL obedience. Not a partial, regardless of how incredible our excuse is as to why we did MOST of what God wanted us to do. Partial obedience is disobedience any way you cut it.

So, there you have it. I fell into the same trap as Saul and I feel sure I'd been right there asking if there were a way we could have some butter and honey for the manna because I was getting tired of the taste. I love how the stories of the bible, God's living word, is SO relevant to me in my everyday life. God reminded me of that tonight in such a simple yet profound way! Whether it is a large scale action or something as small as picking up the popcorn bowl, disobedience is just that. Because we are flesh and made from the dust of the earth, we cannot escape it. The positive? My sin of disobedience is not any worse than the girl making her way to swing on a pole and tempt men as the bible tells us should not be done. The foot of the cross is level, praise God, and every sin is equal in God's view. As a Christian...I am saved by the same blood that can save a murderer, adulterer, thief or any number of people the world may find as unworthy and unforgivable. Stopping for the bowl is all the same in God's eyes.

What if our children imitate us?

Every Monday night I meet with a wonderful group of friends to study the word of God...Beth Moore style! This is by far one of my favorite times of the week, and I look forward to it with great anticipation of what the Lord will reveal to me about His word and how He wants to use me. This past Monday, it wasn't Beth Moore as much as another participant in the bible study that God used to speak to me in a very vivid way. He spoke in such a way that settled SO deep into my soul, it was as if He were there in the flesh.

Let me backtrack just a bit to earlier in the afternoon. Beth Moore suggests in this particular study to take a minute each and every day to bow down to Jesus in prayer, forehead to the ground. My favorite place to be when I am seeking God wholeheartedly is in my closet. It isn't a small dark closet, rather it is quite large...but it is quiet. I have had many conversations with God in this closet, and He has answered many prayers while I sat quietly listening for him...in the closet. So, there I was on my knees, face down with my forehead laying heavily on the carpet and my arms outstretched in front of me with the palms of my hands facing heaven...and my 3 year old son walks in. I could hear him coming, but I so just wanted to meet with God at that time and NEEDED to be with Him that I continued to talk to my heavenly father as long as my sweet little guy would let me. He entered the closet and in a quiet, semi-concerned voice asked, "mommy, what are you doing?". As a lifted my head, tears streaming down my face...I answered him. "I'm praying sugar." Because prayer is a daily and very normal routine in our home, he knows this is a reverent time and so as I went back to prayer he laid by my hands and waited for me to finish.

Now, back to the bible study. As we were all getting ready to watch the video, the sounds of the living room were almost comical. Very faintly one could hear the sounds of a breast pump coming from one mommy across the room, the cries of a precious 3 month-old as her mommy tried to settle her after nursing, my car horn honking as I accidentally pushed the panic button on my remote as I tried to move my purse out of the way...and the sweet voice of an almost 3-year-old little girl (who I am quite sure had heard the 'you need to stay in your bed' speech) wanting to be a part of our bible study ready with a pen and her own little pink bible. As I sat there and was in total admiration of the desire to meet with God and learn more about him despite the busy call on their lives as mommies and wives...the curly headed little girl eager to be a part of our group reminded me of just how much our kids take in and model our actions. Then, I was transported back to my closet.

I pray that my son remembers his mommy down on her knees, and I pray that the precious little girl remembers her mommy meeting with friends to learn more about God together. Although her whispers could be heard by those around, we were all mommies and are experts at tuning out in order to tune in! God spoke to my heart in a powerful way, and reminded me of the charge we have as parents to raise our children up to be sold out for Christ...whether it be in the privacy of a closet or in the midst of friends. Let them "make notes" in their bibles, let them enter the study with a group of friends, and let them interrupt your closet prayers. They need to see us actively pursuing Christ...that is one of the behaviors I want my children to imitate more than any other!

Celebrating Love

Wow...it has been quite a while since I blogged!! One of my New Year's Resolutions is to be better about blogging. Of course, I would also like to lose about 25 lbs, so we'll see what happens!

This year started off perfectly...celebrating love! January 9th marked our 12 year anniversary, so Shawn whisked me away to a beautiful resort in Mexico...El Dorado Seaside Suites. It was so relaxing, so refreshing, and so wonderful to spend time with Shawn in such a "perfect" place! Although we were a bit scared to go due to the current unrest in Mexico...we felt like we would be safe on the resort. Turns out...we were!

The entry to the resort

Most everything we ordered was gourmet...small portions

meant to be served along with several courses. Nothing was

Supersized, Whatasized, or even close to Texas sized!!! One

night we even ate twice...yep...went to two different restaurants

and ordered appetizers, main course and desserts! This particular

dessert was brought as a surprise by one of our sweet waiters.

Although gratuities were included in the price of our stay...this

fellow earned himself a big tip!

These were in the trees EVERYWHERE! They are actually

coconuts!

Here is a view of "our" swinging bed (the one to the right).

It was perfect, somewhat secluded, and "ours"....until the

last day when a certain European lady who liked to tan

without her top bednapped it!

Shawn hanging out on "our" bed. Ahhh...it was so nice!

There was quite a bit of coral in this particular spot. Further down the beach you could simply walk right into the water...but isn't the view of the trees just beautiful?!?!?

View of the carribean sea from "our" beach bed!

This is the view from our "seaside" suite. Shawn totally

expected to walk out of the door and step on sand, walk

a few more steps and be in the water. What you can't see

is that the beach is just beyond these trees. It really was as

close to perfect as I could have imagined!

Our beautiful room complete with jacuzzi tub!

We loved the trip SO much, that the first night we were back home Shawn was on the internet trying to plan our trip for next year! I have to thank God above all...just a few years ago, we could barely afford to spend the night in our own home much less travel to such a beautiful place and spend 5 days! (for more on that journey, read through Mostly Fingerprints on my blog) We serve such a faithful, loving, and merciful God. Thank you Jesus for your provision in our lives!